The Members of SEAL Team 6 Weren’t Big Fans of Barack Obama

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Mark Owen, a pseudonym given by a member of SEAL Team 6 who participated in the raid on Abbottabad, Pakistan that resulted in the death of Osama bin Laden, had some harsh words for President Obama in the new book “No Easy Day.”

From the Huffington Post:

Though he praises the president for green-lighting the risky assault, Owen says the SEALS joked that Obama would take credit for their success. On his second night in Afghanistan waiting for final orders, sitting around a fire pit and joking about which Hollywood actors would play them in the bin Laden movie, one SEAL joked, “And we’ll get Obama reelected for sure. I can see him now, talking about how he killed bin Laden,” according to Owen.

Owen writes: “We had seen it before when he took credit for the Captain Phillips rescue. Although we applauded the decision-making in this case, there was no doubt in anybody’s mind that he would take all the political credit for this too.”

If it’s any consolation, America would have rather you been the face of the victory, but that sort of wasn’t an option, you being covert special forces and all.

I mean, if only this were real.

By the way, no matter the situation, if anyone ever responds with “Who’s askin'” when you ask their name, “The U-S of A, motherfucker” is always an acceptable answer.

Later, while watching Obama’s speech announcing the raid, Owen writes: “None of us were huge fans of Obama. We respected him as the commander in chief of the military and for giving us the green light on the mission.” When one SEAL jokes again that they got Obama reelected, Owen asks, “Well, would you rather not have done this?”

He writes: “We all knew the deal. We were tools in the toolbox, and when things go well they promote it. They inflate their roles. But we should have done it. It was the right call to make. Regardless of the politics that would come along with it, the end result was what we all wanted.”

But perhaps worse than Obama stealing their thunder, the president stiffed the SEAL Team on a beer. NF.

After listening to Obama’s speech and enduring Biden’s “lame jokes that no one got (He seemed like a nice guy, but he reminded me of someone’s drunken uncle at Christmas dinner)” the president invited the team to return to his residence later for a beer.

But Owen writes a few weeks later: “We never got the call to have a beer at the White House.” Joking with a fellow SEAL, “Hey, did you ever hear anything about that beer?” Walt cracks: “ You believed that shit. I bet you voted for change too, sucker.”

Goddammit, who invited Joe Biden?

____________________

Biden: Heyyyyy! How you fellas doin’ tonight?

SEAL: Very well Mr. Vice President, and yourself?

Biden: Ah, you know, Mondays!

SEAL: No, sir, I really wouldn’t.

Biden: Wanna hear a joke?

(*SEAL takes a deep breath, reminds himself to “respect the office”)

SEAL: Yes sir, it would be my pleasure.

Biden: So, uh, you know since you guys took out Osama and left that the local villagers changed Abbottabad’s official town name, did ya know that?

SEAL: No sir, I was not aware.

Biden: Oh yeah, oh yeah. (*Stifles laughter*) Ever since bin Laden died they uh, they changed it from Abbottabad to A-Not-So-Bad! (*Nudges SEAL with his elbow*) Eh! Eh!

(*A beat*)

SEAL: Yes sir. Very funny sir.

Biden: Oh, I get it. You Navy boys like the dirtier humor, huh? Here, watch me flash my penis at this White House tour.

(*Joe Biden starts unbuttoning his pants as he sprints towards a group of middle schoolers*)

____________________

I guess they had to invite Biden. As far as taking political credit goes, right or wrong, it was at the very least expected, which makes it like, one percent less annoying. But stiffing the SEALs on a drink? Weak shit.

***


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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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  1. 0
    Plan B is Plan A

    The characterization of Biden as the annoying drunk uncle at Christmas is spot on. Every time that stupid geed opens his mouth he embarrasses the country.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 0
    SigmaFratty

    Well this is obviously false. 1. They didn’t know their target until on the helicopter in route to their target. 2. Like the president or not, SEALS would not publically discuss their views.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      RisingFratstarOfTX

      ^Wow champ, it took you knowing THAT to figure it out? I thought having Rob Riggle as the guy that shot Osama would have done it. Your idiocy is this close to giving me an anger-stroke.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  3. 0
    Frat Like a Boss

    My Grandpa’s friend is Biden’s old driver, and he said Biden’s always hittin’ some whiskey, but is one annoying motherfucker.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago