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The Morning Bump: Streaking Through The Quad

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Mornings are shit. Everyone knows that. You’re tired, you’re hungover, and you have to get up and do stuff. You could use a little motivation. A little pick-me-up. A little morning bump, if you will. Well here you go, bitch. Get jacked up and seize the motherfucking day.

“What’s this lyin’ around shit?”

Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

John Daly has no shame, and neither should you.

That’s how it’s done. Blast a heater, toss it into your divot, fire it onto the driving range, and move on.

Don’t you ever stop believing.

Hold on to that weekend feeling all week long, baby.

“I’ll do one! I’ll do one!”

Now get out there, do more than one, take your clothes off, and go streaking through the fucking quad. Make this week your bitch. Godspeed.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, unbiased Rockets fan, fair-weather Astros fan, and sad Texans fan who attended the 2017 Masters.

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