Languages are constantly changing. Believe it or not, back in the olden days they had to say “frontbottom belch,” as the word “queef” hadn’t been invented yet. Because of language’s evolutionary nature, Oxford is frequently updating their dictionary. In their latest update, Oxford has made some pretty stupid additions to the English diction, as always. If you hear a kid say any of the following words during rush, you should blackball him on the spot.
Awesomesauce, adj.: (U.S. informal) extremely good; excellent
Used in a sentence: “Man, that LAN party the other night was awesomesauce! My K-D ratio was so imba, they’ll probably nerf me soon LOL!”
Beer o’clock, n: an appropriate time of day for starting to drink beer
Everybody knows it’s not Beer o’clock. It’s Beer-30.
butthurt, adj.: (U.S. informal) overly or unjustifiably offended or resentful
They forgot to mention that it is also a noun, and refers to the state of either…
a) a female after #BUTTSTUFF2015, or
b) Jared Fogle after his first night in prison.
cakeage,n.: (informal) a charge made by a restaurant for serving a cake they have not supplied themselves
When the fuck would any sane person ever use this? Even if I was in the one situation where this word was appropriate, there is exactly a zero-percent chance I’d ever think to use it. Is restaurants charging extra if people bring their own birthday cake to a birthday dinner really a widespread enough problem to where it needs to be added to the dictionary? Sounds more like a personal problem.
cat cafe, n.: a café or similar establishment where people pay to interact with cats housed on the premises
This one left me speechless. I had no idea that cat cafes existed, and I think I’m a worse person now after hearing that they do.
fatberg, n.: a very large mass of solid waste in a sewerage system, consisting especially of congealed fat and personal hygiene products that have been flushed down toilets
Well that’s disgusting. Also, “Fatberg” is probably what Mighty Duck Adam “Money In The” Banks and the rest of his cake-eating Edina frat crew called that plump fuck Goldberg behind his back.
manspreading, n.: the practice whereby a man, especially one traveling on public transport, adopts a sitting position with his legs wide apart, in such a way as to encroach on an adjacent seat or seats
I’m just going to keep calling it “sitting.” .