The Speech A.J. Hinch Gave To The Houston Astros After Clinching A Playoff Spot Was Every Fraternity President’s Speech To His Chapter Ever

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After clinching the second wildcard spot this afternoon, Houston Astros manager, A.J. Hinch, took center stage and gave his ball club a celebratory speech straight out of every fraternity president’s playbook.

Goosebumps. I feel like I’m back at the house after a great week of recruitment or on the turf fields after an IM championship. Hinch starts out like he’s watched one too many Gordon Bombay speeches over the last few days, in preparation for this moment, only to devolve into f-bombs every other word once the drunk obnoxious brother (Hank Conger) chimes in with an icebreaking “Fuck em!” to get the ball rolling.

Hank Conger is the sixth-year-senior that still takes gen eds to scope out the talent in the new freshman class.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to

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