The University Of Texas Has Misplaced 100 Human Brains, Potentially Stolen As Halloween Decorations

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The University of Texas has lost 100 human brains, including the mushy brain of psychotic clock tower sniper Charles Whitman, the school announced this week.

The brains were acquired more than 25 years ago from the Austin State Hospital, formerly known as the Texas State Lunatic Asylum. University officials moved the brains, which live in jars of formaldehyde, to a new home on campus two years ago. Because they didn’t have room for all the brains, around 200 in total, half of the collection was kept in a University lab basement.

So where did the lunatic brains go? Should we be terrified? Could this be zombie related?

From the Austin-American Statesman:

“We think somebody may have taken the brains, but we don’t know at all for sure,” Tim Schallert, a psychology professor, said Tuesday.

His co-curator of the collection, Lawrence Cormack, also a psychology professor, said, “It’s entirely possible word got around among undergraduates and people started swiping them for living rooms or Halloween pranks.”

Fucking undergraduates, of course. Security was so loose on the brains that the school admits it is more than likely a student could walk down to the basement, pick out a brain, put it in his backpack, and then go about his day like nothing happened.

Charles Whitman killed more than a dozen UT students and faculty in his 1966 shooting rampage from the University Tower, and his brain is among the brains that are now sitting on some undergraduate’s dining room table adjacent to a carved pumpkin and a fake spider web.

Nonetheless, it seems likely that Whitman’s brain was part of the collection. “It would make sense it would be in this group,” Schallert said, adding, “We can’t find that brain.”

“We can’t find that brain” is my new favorite University of Texas saying, surpassing “what starts here changes the world.”

The university has moved the 100 remaining brains to a more secure location.

[via Austin American-Statesman]

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