The Unkempt Beard Movement That Is Taking Over Baseball

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Nice Move

I’m not really sure how or why it started, but this new wave of manliness in Major League Baseball is catching on. There have always been the neatly-trimmed and maintained forms of facial hair seen in the majors, but this is a whole new ball game.

Vin Scully, as always, nails it. The beard movement is something never seen before. There are some guys that have some nicely groomed facial hair worth talking about, but the majority of the players contributing to the fad aren’t shaping their man-stubble or having a pencil-thin mustache…these guys are going for a full-on Chewbacca look. The untrimmed and practically untouched style is in. Here are some players that are contributing to the facial hair movement:

Evan Gattis of the Houston Astros with his face engulfed man-beard.

Also from the ‘Stros with a little chin-cape of his own, Dallas Keuchel.

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Showing off his “4-months unemployed” man-beard, Wade Miley from the Boston Red Sox.

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Looking like he’s from the cast of Planet of the Apes, the Sox’s own Mike Napoli.

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From the Washington Nationals, Jayson Werth and his “Jesus of D.C.” look.

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Showing of his American facial roots, Jonny Gomes of the Atlanta Braves.

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LA Dodgers’ Scott Van Slyke has got himself a chocolate marshmallow.

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Also from LA and needing the Fire Department to put that one out, Justin Turner.

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Reppin’ the intense handlebars, Danny Espinosa of the Nationals.

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Growin’ some “Colorado cannabis” of his own, Charlie Blackmon from the Rockies.

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Supporting the “west coast tumbleweed,” Padres’ own Derek Norris.

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Joining his com-Padre, Andrew “Cash Money” Cashner.

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Going with the “bum” look, Madison Bumgarner.

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Rockin’ some home-grown wheat, Giants’ Hunter Pence.

The fill-in for Tom Hanks in Castaway and Hagrid in Harry Potter, Brian Schlitter from the Chicago Cubs.

Kevin Quackenbush, also a Padre, who basically has the perfect last name that coincides with his beard-style.

Closing out the bunch, Jason Motte of the Cubs with the “neck-curtain.”

It’s an epidemic, people. These guys are ruthless and most of them could be members of the Wildlings in Game of Thrones. However, I do like how that they’re going all out with this and not giving a shit. Hell, 162 out of the 365 days in a year they’re on the baseball field (roughly 44.38% of the year), which only leaves them 203 days to bust out the shaving kit. Why would those dudes waste the other 55.62% of their precious time and cash cleaning up their faces? These guys would rather be spend their millions on liquor and women, which is basically how they keep themselves entertained when they’re playing away games. I say keep it up.

Image via Youtube


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