I have long been considered the worst drinker in my fraternity. It sucks. I mean, I have a beer gut, as you can see from my dope, new Twitter avatar, so people instantly assume I have some predisposition to taking loads upon loads of Natural Light straight to the dome in the basement. Little do they know the only loads I down in the basement are my laundry. (Our laundry room is in the basement.) Also, jizz.
If you thought I was a bad drinker, get a load of this guy.
Matthew Hogg takes home brewing to a whole new level: Thanks to an excess of yeast in his digestive system, the 34-year-old British man gets as drunk from bread and pasta as his friends do from pints of lager.
Hogg’s disease is called auto-brewery syndrome, a rare disorder in which his intestines produce ethanol – pure alcohol – from carbohydrates, leaving him drunk at worst, and tired and hungover at best.
To outside observers like us, this seems awesome. A lot of places have strict no alcohol policies, but I’ve yet to encounter a place where you can’t bring in a nice, hearty baguette to snack on. If I had the same syndrome as Hogg, you would be able to find me inside the stadium on a DeVry football Wednesday (we play on Wednesdays) pounding hot dog buns.
To people who suffer from the syndrome, life is far from ideal. Listen to Hogg talk about the hardships he faces as a sufferer of auto-brewery syndrome.
Looks like the next time you show up drunk for class, you can just say you ate some bread. That’ll work, right?
Image via Youtube