These Olympics Have Been Alright, But Where Is The Chaos?

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I’m a cynic at heart. This is why I had such high hopes for the Olympic Games in Rio.

All of the buildup for the last few years, months, weeks, and days leading up to the Summer Games were that Rio was a borderline warzone. This was supposed to be a scene out of the movie Outbreak with the Zika virus wreaking havoc on all who dared to attend. Rather than athletic competitions taking place, I was expecting a real life Hunger Games to occur. The ocean was to be a shade of brown from all the poo being drained directly into it. Brush away the sand on the volleyball courts and risk finding a body part. Housing accommodations were going to resemble something out of a Stephen King novel. Guerilla warfare was just around every corner. Simply put: We were promised anarchy.

Sure, we were given a few small slivers of this. USA swimmer Ryan Lochte was held up at gunpoint, then he wasn’t, then he was, then he wasn’t again — I have a hard time trusting anyone who still bleaches their hair. Participants in events that took place in the ocean were told not to swallow the water, but isn’t that just common sense for salt water, though? We had a handful of Australian athletes tweet out complaints about shower curtains not being set up. You’re telling me the outback is suddenly so luxurious that a shower curtain is going to make or break your stay? Poor dingo babies were worried their showers might flood their bathroom floors. If one of them slipped and broke their neck stepping out of the tub that would have been the most exciting thing to come out of these Olympic Games.

The United States is dominating the medal count. Again. Yawn. We know we’re the best. This doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone. The Olympics are basically a competition for which country will place second in the medal count. Big ups to our English friends across the pond doing their best to keep China from being second.

I really thought Rio was finally going to bring us the Olympics that we all secretly crave. We all fell victim, again, to the media trap of reports that led us to believe a hosting city will burn to the ground the moment that Olympic torch is lit. While Rio may very well fall into an economic depression in the near future, they did not deliver the 16 days of hell on earth we were promised.

On Sunday night, the Olympic Games will hold their closing ceremony and then we can all go back to not caring about these glorified exercises that are being labeled as sports until 2020. The Olympics had their ten seconds of fame this summer, I guess. It’s time to turn our attention to pennant race baseball, college football, and the NFL. All will be right in the world soon enough. I, for one, cannot wait.

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