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This Futuristic Mercedes Self-Driving Concept Car Could Be The Downfall Of Humanity

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I mean look at that stupid fucking thing. Is that a vehicle or a computer mouse that’s been removed from Robocop’s aerosol-lubricated rectum? This is the future of automobiles? Nothing says sleek and innovative quite like a design that’s been around for the last two decades at Epcot’s Test Track. Real poon-slaying mobile you got yourself, Mercedes. I think I’d be more comfortable getting into one of those single car, mouse trap-themed rollercoasters that a dozen or so people go flying off of to their untimely deaths at the boardwalk every summer than this self-driving, chrome-polished Sybian saddle.

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You just know this guy strokes himself off talking about how he’s cutting his own carbon footprint and doing his part in the world. Kick rocks, you greased up chode. What happens when these things become self-aware and start mowing down pedestrians for Team Machine with the tenacity of a caffeine and angst brimming teenager playing Grand Theft Auto? What then? Remember the last time we let Germans freely experiment with technology? How did that go? The next Blitzkrieg won’t be lead by Panzer Tanks, it’ll be this “groundbreaking” vehicle in the front lines. We need to nip this in the bud while it’s still in the concept stage, not repeat history trusting those Nazi bastards again, and save humanity in the process.

[via Business Insider]

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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