You must be logged in to comment. Log in or create an account.
I’m an all American runner who can, on a good day, run a mile in about 4 1/2 minutes. I ran the beer mile and it took me 13 minutes. This shits impressive.
On what planet does a 4:30 mile get you All-American recognition?
I’ll take the laps, but my JV team in high school had guys going 4:45
It’s not that I run one 4 1/2 minute mile it’s that I can run multiple in a row at that pace which is how I won every single race I ran in (except one). That’s how I got all American recognition.
Too bad you’re a douche.
I ran a sub 5 mile at lacrosse tryouts in highschool. Are you saying if I focused on running I could have been an all American?
Dear Mr. TheFrattydaddy69,
If you can run a mile in 4 1/2 minutes but can only do a beer mile in 13 minutes, then you must be a pussy when it comes to slugging beers. When I ran track in high school 3 years ago, my best time was only 4:46. Since then I’ve gotten rather out of shape. I ran a beer mile less than a week ago in less than 9 minutes. My assumption is that you’re either a skinny running shit that can’t handle his alcohol (making you unworthy of being any kind of fratty daddy), or a fat shit that can’t run anymore.
Having a mediocre run time with alcohol in his system makes him an excellent candidate for the US Army.