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This Guy’s 6-Day Boner Landed Him $750,000

I read the headline from Complex.com about a man being awarded $750,000 after his six-day erection went untreated in a New York City jail, and the first thought that came to mind was this: Would I walk around sprung for six days for 750 grand?

Yes, I would. No brainer.

I’d earmark 100 grand of that money to market and rebrand myself as “6-Day Boner Guy,” then go around making appearances and doing talk shows and making a killing. Easy money.

I’d wear six days of boner for 50 grand, if we’re being honest. And I’ve thought this out. It sounds like a fairly easy feat to accomplish, but it’s really not. 50 grand is my number. No less.

If you were able to be secluded in the privacy of your home, six days of being sprung isn’t that bad, just really, really uncomfortable after a while. I’m a working man, though. And I have a social life. I leave the house. I’d have to be prancing around the office like Ron Burgundy in pleats. I go to the grocery store and do lunch outings and grab beers with friends. Everyone will know exactly what I’m working with. That’s tough.

Anyway, back to the story. Rodney Cotton, 51, was awarded 750k after his six-day boner went untreated while incarcerated in New York.

51-year-old Rodney Cotton was suing New York City for negligence (not a first for NYC jails) after an untreated abnormal erection in 2011 left him with “permanent injuries to his penis.” Cotton, who was in the Manhattan Detention Complex at the time after violating parole, was given Risperdal, an antipsychotic medication, to treat his bipolar disorder, which somehow resulted in the erection. Cotton was left untreated all Independence Day weekend and was only given an ice pack and Tylenol.

He was finally sent to the hospital on day six for an emergency de-boner surgery. Unfortunately, the recovery process didn’t go well.

The situation worsened post-surgery after “self-dissolving” stitches became “embedded” to his penis after a month back in jail. Cotton said the stitches had to be removed by a doctor without anesthesia.

It’s unclear what “permanent injuries” to his penis he sustained, but he’s got 750 grand in his pocket. Worth it as long as he’s still able to spring wood.

[via Complex]

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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