This past Sunday at Miller Park, home of the Milwaukee Brewers (minus Ryan Braun), the organization hosted their annual family day. I’m not really sure what that entailed since most Sunday afternoon games are a family affair anyway. Maybe that meant the Brewers management asked the notoriously drunken Brewers fans to limit themselves to five Miller Lites and keep the environment a little more family friendly? Seems unlikely that anyone could keep a Wisconsiner from guzzling less than 5.5 Miller Lites in a single sitting.
Wife: (holding a small child) Honey, will you please just cool it? This is supposed to be a family day.
(*Husband finishes of his seventh Miller Lite*)
Husband: (extremely drunk) Oh what? I’m not part of this family? I can’t enjoy this day? It’s family day! I’m IN the family, so let me have fun and shut up! LET’S GO BRAUNIE! Where the fuck’s Braun?
Wife: (annoyed) He was suspended for using PEDs.
Husband: I didn’t know they had SportsCenter on Lifetime HAAAAAAAAAAAA! Is it Packer season yet?
Wife: This is what I deserve for getting knocked up in a port-a-potty at Octoberfest.
Whatever happened in the shitshow crowd aside, players and coaches were encouraged to bring their families, as well. As it happens, Brewers coach Johnny Narron invited his grandson to the ballpark, and the little guy (he can’t be older than 4) was given the honor of throwing out the first pitch. Unfortunately for the precocious tyke, Grandpa and his mom decided to condescendingly insist he throw from the grass in front of home plate instead of the mound. He wasn’t having it. He has dignity dammit! This is what happened.
Somebody in Madison reserve this kid a bid. Well done, sir. Plus, he out threw Carly Rae Jepsen, so there’s that.
h/t to For The Win