This NYC Investment Banker Makes Jordan Belfort Look Not So Bad

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Nice Move

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If there’s anything Jordan Belfort taught us, it’s that guys in the financial markets love hookers and cocaine. Can you blame ’em? I do, too–I just don’t have the cash to throw ragers in the Hamptons like those guys do. Sage Kelly, head of healthcare investment banking at Jeffries, is no different than Belfort. He likes to get a little crazy after a hard day’s work. You can’t hate the guy for trying to let loose after making all that money.

According to the NY Post:

A married Manhattan investment honcho and dad of two is a real-life “Wolf of Wall Street” who romps with hookers and hosts hallucinogenic-drug festivals at the family’s Hamptons home, his estranged wife says in a new $7 million lawsuit.

Kelly once hosted a “Mushroom Day” in the Hamptons, where “he continually ingested mushrooms throughout the day … while the children were present,” according to court papers filed by bitter wife Christina Di Mauro.

If he doesn’t win dad of the year, then the polls are fixed. However, he claims that these accusations are a sham by his crazy wife just so she can get custody of the kids.

“While [Christina] and I used recreational drugs on occasion at certain social event in the past, ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ tale she tells this court is a work of fiction,” Sage fumes in the August filing for custody of the couple’s two young daughters.

He even installed cameras to catch her in the act of snorting coke and hiding beer in their daughter’s backpack. This couple makes Belfort look less and less like a bad father, and these are only a few of the things the two did.

Some of the other highlights from their lawsuits:

• Sage took a Vegas trip in May where he “did drugs and hobnobbed with prostitutes.” Who hasn’t, though? Sounds like a typical Vegas trip to me.

• He also “clung” to his 3-year-old daughter while hopped up on Special-K.

• Sage and his pals left a bag of cocaine on the family’s pool table, which their daughter found. She dipped her finger into the bag.

• Christina admitted to her cocaine use and also drove into a pole while drunk with their two daughters in the car.

I’d say patch it up for the kids, but those kids are probably so fucked up mentally that they wouldn’t benefit from staying with either parent.

[via NY Post]

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