Tim Howard’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Know Much About Soccer, But Who Cares? She’s Hot

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Nice Move

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Tim Howard is winning at life. After breaking Twitter, Wikipedia, and the Pentagon last week, the all-American hero has added another notch to his celebrity belt.

While Howard doesn’t score on the soccer field, he recently scored big off it by shacking up with his new slam, Sara McLean. The 24-year-old smokeshow was the 2011 Miss Scotland runner-up and a cast member on Britain’s “Big Brother,” where she lived in the house alongside a former porn star, a plus size model, and a one-time gang member. Sounds like my kind of party.

Being the red-blooded American male that he is, Tim made his move on the blue-eyed bombshell (who is more than a decade his junior) at a party. McLean admits at the time, she didn’t really know who Tim was.

From NY Post:

We don’t really talk about football that much, to be honest. I didn’t even watch football before we started going out,’ McLean, a London banker, told The Sun.”

If McLean never watched soccer before heading to pound-town, then Tim Howard must spit some massive game. Know what happened when I met my girlfriend at a party? I lied and told her I wrote for TFM, stumbled away, drunkenly called up Bacon, begged him to let me write just one 300 word article, and agreed to name my first born after him. Tim Howard just says, “Hi, Tim Howard, multi-millionaire. Damn glad to meet you.”

While McLean has embraced her new beau’s profession, she says that their connection is “more than just sports.” Maybe it’s more like 48-hour tantric sessions where they dip their entire bodies in gold and then passionately intertwine to make a human World Cup trophy? I don’t know. It’s Monday. Let me fantasize about McLean before I have the intern spit-shine my Sperrys. Anyway, don’t expect there to be any baby news coming from the Howard camp anytime soon. I hear he refuses to pull the goalie.

[via NY Post]

Image via Twitter

Jordan is a writer living in a small yet overpriced apartment in NYC. He can always be found in his favorite pair of topsiders, even though he doesn't own a yacht (yet). He may not always be right, but he's never wrong and he also knows that finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything. He could eat cereal for every meal, but doesn't...because you know...carbs. For angry tweets about the state of IU basketball follow him @jordangersh

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