Today is Flag Day AND National Bourbon Day AND the U.S. Army’s Anniversary, How Are You Not Drunk Yet?

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You probably knew it was Flag Day, since you’re a Goddamn freedom loving American. What you MIGHT not have known (if you did, you’re awesome, drink on) is that today is also National Bourbon Day. I’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes trying to wrap my head around how intensely I need to celebrate this glorious union of holidays. I got so worked up that I had to have a glass of bourbon just to calm myself down. If you aren’t drinking bourbon and saluting a flag right now, I suggest you do so.

God bless bourbon, and more importantly, God bless America.

Carry on.

[h/t to reader Reagan is my brother]

UPDATE:

It is also the anniversary of the founding of the United States Army.

Excuse me while I go blackout.

[h/t to reader Teddy Brosevelt]

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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