The Patriots didn’t have the national TV slot yesterday afternoon because for some reason they (NFL? CBS? Not sure who decides that, tbh) thought the Raiders would pull better ratings, so if you weren’t lucky enough to watch the Patriots pull out a hard-fought, albeit shaky, victory over the Jets, check out this play from Tom Brady.
He found himself as a lead blocker for a LeGarrette Blount run, and somehow it was half-awkward, half-impressive, and half-head scratching. When asked about the play this morning on the radio, TB12 was pretty honest, saying “I can’t block for shit.” Yet in a Facebook video from his feed (Brady is too cool for Twitter; Facebook has and always will be Brady’s bae), Brady compares himself to a monster truck and has Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” sound-tracking the video.
How the FUCK does Brady neither touch nor get touched by anybody? It’s like he’s got a fucking force field around his tip-toeing ass. When I saw this live, I almost had a near death experience, waiting for some linebacker to send Brady back to Ann Arbor, and by some Thanksgiving weekend miracle, nobody touched him. Once I dried the pee off of my jeans I got to look at the replay and I was in hysterics laughing at how awkward Brady and his bum knee looked trying to clear a path for his running back.
Brady wanted absolutely no part in laying down a block, but he wanted to make sure he looked like he was going for a block. Honestly genius. Pretend you’re making the effort, but don’t. That’s public image 101.
Despite his awful blocking, Brady tied the NFL record with 200 career wins and became only the fifth QB ever with 60,000 passing yards. But did any of those other QBs post hilarious self-deprecating Facebook videos? That’s what I thought. Another example of Brady being the GOAT. Now excuse me while I go crack stick while watching yesterday’s game-winning drive for the eighth time today..