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Tom Brady Thinks It’s Amusing To Share A Video Of Himself Wiping Out Hard During Ski Jump

This video is NOT okay with me. We must protect this man at all costs. Preserve him. When he’s not on the field dropping dimes to mediocre white receivers, we need to make sure he doesn’t leave his house. Maybe not even his bedroom. Just stay in there and have sex with your perfect wife and study defenses.

No riding bikes, no jumping on trampolines, no can openers into the pool, no toasting his own bread. No anything. We need Tom playing football until he can no longer walk. He’s that good. He’s that perfect. He’s that much better than everyone else at football and at life.

And I fucking hate the Patriots.

If you french fry when you're supposed to pizza, you're gonna have a bad time! Trust me!!!

A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on

Yard sale! Not a bad little fall for even your everyday gaper. But that’s Tom Perfect. The golden boy. He’s worth a trillion dollars and has an entire city’s happiness riding on his health.

These guys’ contracts include some pretty clear language that prevents them from doing things like skiing, right? It’s like no riding motorcycles, no cliff diving, no wing-suiting off the side of mountains, and no Sonny Bono-ing. No one is going to tell Tom what he can and can’t do, I guess, but there are so many puckered buttholes in Boston right now.

A lot of this:

Screen Shot 2017-02-23 at 9.28.23 AM

P.S. Hey Tom go to Vail for me on time.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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