The frat house. It’s where you experienced your rebirth. You went in as a try-hard little shit, and you came out as a raging alcoholic narcissistic asshole with nothing else left to prove to the world. You laughed there, you cried there, you fucked there; sometimes you may have laughed while you fucked while she cried there. It really was a beautiful time you spent living in the house, yet it wasn’t long enough. You still miss the natural scent of stale beer, you miss the noise of the pledges being tortured in the basement, and you miss that you could walk down the hallway to get anything you ever needed, whether it be drugs, old tests, advice, or a safe haven from that stage 5 clinger you woke up next to. The house is literally flowing with memories of debauchery.
But there’s more to the house than the memories locked inside. The house itself is something worth marveling: its architecture, its history, its natural aesthetics. It’s something we should all admire. But as you may all very well know, no two houses are the same. Some houses can easily be classified as palaces, while some look more like run down little sheds. In this series of articles, we’ll focus on the former, because no one gives a shit about the latter.
After being inspired by Dorn’s Top 10 Sororities Of Each Conference (#TYBD), I’ve decided to take a gander in classifying the best frat houses in each conference. You know the drill. The Big Ten, ACC, SEC, Big 12, and Pac-12 will all be represented. But I’m going to take it a step further and also classify the best Ivy League houses, and I will make a final column of 15 (or 20?) houses that aren’t in any major conference but still deserve recognition. So without further adieu, let’s kick things off with the Big Ten.
Side note: I cannot guarantee that all the houses will accurately represent the letters that are hanging. Fraternities relocate or get kicked off, and a new fraternity may relocate into the house, if not completely abandoned.
10. Pi Kappa Phi – Penn State University
9. Sigma Chi – Penn State University
8. Alpha Tau Omega – University of Illinois
7. Alpha Tau Omega – University of Indiana
6. Beta Theta Pi – University of Nebraska
5. Kappa Sigma – University of Wisconsin
4. Kappa Sigma – Ohio State University
3. Chi Psi – University of Wisconsin
2. Sigma Alpha Epsilon – University of Michigan
1. Phi Kappa Psi – Ohio State University
If your fraternity didn’t make it, start asking alumni for some hefty donations. Apart from that, feel free to defend your fraternity’s house in the comments.
Up next week: Pac-12