25. Bubba never taking a lesson or watching his swing on tape, yet still winning the Masters. TFTC.
24. Don’t forget to change your clocks on Sunday, and your President on Tuesday. TFM.
23. Slapping a flat brim off a geed during the National Anthem. TFM.
22. Thanking God that nobody is wishing you a happy Father’s Day today. TFM.
21. The world adapting to the English language, but America still refusing to use the Metric system. TFM.
20. For some reason my Chik-fil-A sandwich tasted like the First Amendment. TFM.
19. The one year anniversary of SEAL Team 6 getting another W for America. TFM.
18. Batman’s super power being having a lot of money. TFM.
17. Jake from State Farm still wearing khakis at 3am. TFM.
16. If Obama gets re-elected this year…props to the Mayans. TFM.
15. Slamming like it’s the ’60s, getting high like the ’70s, dressing like the ’80s, making money like the ’90s and drinking like it’s the end of the world. TFM.
14. Rushing more kids than Kony. TFM.
13. Affording your own health care. TFM.
12. I’m not sexist. Being sexist is wrong, and being wrong is for women. TFM.
11. Mom getting a phone call home from my little bother’s third grade teacher because he asked her is she was a democrat or an American. TFM.
10. Drinking alcohol and having sexual intercourse with females. TFM.
9. Neil Armstrong telling unfunny jokes about the Moon, then following them up with “Ah, I guess you had to be there.” TFM.
8. Knowing that one day the leader of this great nation will have been on this website commenting about butt pee. TFM.
7. “I’m not saying she’s a whore, but if her vagina had a password, it would be ‘password.’” TFM.
6. Watching the video your wife made you on the plane. TFM.
5. Here’s to expensive whiskey, cheap beer, new slams, high dividends, and Obama not being president. Happy New Year. TFM.
4. Protecting her like she’s America, and invading her like she’s Iraq. TFM.
3. “On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?” TFM.
2. I am a pledge. For every “nice move” I get paddled. Thank you pledge master, Sir. TPM.
1. German guy at the bar challenged me, asking how many World Cups we’ve won. I responded, “How many World Wars have you won?” TFM.
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