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Total Boner Writes Op-Ed About Gronk’s “Lame” Obsession With 69 Jokes

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Alex Reimer of The Mashup is apparently more into canned responses and robotic, personality-less interviews than the sophomoric soundbites and videos that Gronk’s “amiable frat boy persona” churns out.

He’s done with Gronk’s obsession with everything 69 related, and he wants you to know all about it.

But now, after years of “69” jokes, the act seems fabricated. Gronk has jumped the shark.

The latest episode of Gronk Has Fun With The Number 69 comes to us from the Daytona 500, where Gronk is interviewing a Monster Energy girl for FOX and tries to get her to say his favorite number. She misses the very Gronk setup and it fell kind of flat, I guess providing Reimer all the ammo he needed to go in on him and his loves for all things 69.

More from Reimer:

There’s nothing harmful about Gronkowski’s schtick. But that doesn’t make it entertaining. Within the last couple of years, he’s taped No. 69 on the back of his practice jersey, worn a No. 69 jersey to a Super Bowl parade, almost keeled over in laughter after a reporter said “69” during an interview, and snickered at the podium when talking about his 69th career touchdown. Even Andrew Dice Clay’s routine had more variety.

The moment an act becomes brand-driven, it usually loses its luster. At the Daytona 500, Gronkowski was flanked by the Monster Energy Girls. Not so coincidently, the Gronk party buses are all stocked with Monster Energy drinks. Gronk’s latest “69” joke appears to be nothing more than sponsored content, designed to circulate around the blogosphere.

And that makes it lame. Very, very lame.

Was this sponsored content? Did Monster Energy script this or was that all Gronk? If it was scripted, why wasn’t the girl in on it? Wouldn’t it have come off better, and thus be more sharable, if the joke landed better, if she came back with something like “Oh you know somewhere between 68 and 70 MPH”? I don’t buy that this was all set up from the jump, but honestly it doesn’t matter.

You amplify what your star does best, and Gronk is at his best when he’s spraying crowds with champagne, chugging beers that are tossed to him on parade floats, and making 69 jokes.

There are too many Tigers out there — “Swing feels great. Just need putts to start dropping” — and too few guys making the same sexual innuendo jokes we used to tell in the middle school cafeteria. Gronk is a big, dumb child and he is full of personality, and we love him for it. He makes things entertaining and fun. He’s an athlete, not a politician. He plays fucking football; he’s not not trying to be anyone’s role model. He’s an American treasure and we must protect him. And tee up as many 69 jokes for him as we can until he gets tired of them, which will be literally never.

Alex Reimer, total boner.

[via The Mashup]

Image via YouTube

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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