Train Runs Over Passed Out Auburn Woman, She’s Found Sleeping And Unharmed

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Some people just can’t hang, guys. We’ve all been there, though. You have a few too many drinks, you black out, and you wind up sleeping somewhere you never intended to. Most of the time, you wake up somewhere safe, albeit strange and unfamiliar. Sometimes, though, you don’t.

One woman in Auburn, Ala., who may or may not be a student, passed out on some railroad tracks. You think you drink a lot? Have you ever gotten “black out and take a nap on the train tracks” drunk? I didn’t think so.

Several individuals called the police in the early hours of the morning to report that a woman had been hit by a train. Upon arriving at the scene of what they must have assumed would be a bloody, gory mess, the first responders were amazed. The sight was nothing short of a miracle.

This young woman, who passed out in the middle of an active railroad track, was completely unscathed. She must have been lying right in the middle of the tracks where the train wouldn’t strike her, provided she kept a low enough profile. Clearly, she did. Even more amazing, though, was that the woman was still asleep when the police arrived. Let that sink in for a minute.

Not only did this woman fall asleep in the middle of some railroad tracks and then get passed over by a train, but she slept through the whole thing. Holy shit.

WTVM, a local news station, reported that “it is unclear why she was asleep on the tracks,” but it’s pretty clear to me. She was shitfaced. If not under the influence of alcohol, she was definitely on something. Why do I say this? Well, you have to be either drunk or crazy to pass out in the middle of railroad tracks. Furthermore, to sleep soundly as a train passes over you, rumbling down the tracks, brakes squealing, and horn blowing, is pretty indicative of being blackout drunk.

It really is a miracle that this woman wasn’t killed. I know everyone likes to have a good time and all, but if you’re ever looking for a sign that you might need to tone it down a bit, let falling asleep on railroad tracks and not being woken up by a train passing over you be that sign.

[via WSFA]

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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