Trojan Ranks The Top Ten Least Sexually Healthy Universities

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Trojan Condoms released their annual report on the least sexually healthy universities in the United States, and there are a few surprises.

The report is not quite what it seems, though. Trojan does not base their rankings on which schools have more clap than a standing ovation. Rather, the condom company ranks the schools based on their sexual health resources. I wonder if this includes a metric measuring which student health centers have the most pictures of syphilitic genitalia? Here are the thirteen categories Trojan judges.

Too bad this is not actually a ranking of which school has the most STDs. I really wanted to live in a world in which Jimmer Fredette went Bill Henrickson on BYU’s campus and gave everyone herpes.

Without further ado, your ten least sexually healthy colleges:

If RGIII can’t play for your fantasy team this week you are well within your rights to assume that he has never been tested for an STD, and subsequently gonorrhea has eaten away at his ligaments unimpeded for the last three years.

[Source]

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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    • 0
      Success

      Dude, you go to Troy….a Troy student talking trash about any school in Alabama is like a Downs’ sufferer calling someone stupid…

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      MrRagersNeighborhood

      My point was Troy has a better football program. As for academics, the only thing Auburn is good for is forestry and vet school. Unless you’re in one of those fields, “success” is a very ironic username.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      Jon M Fratsman

      I was of the understanding that Auburn actually had a real solid engineering program of some sort and I know for a fact their Greek life is the tits. But in all fairness to Mr. Ragers (and I hate your school, by the way), Troy probably would have whupped Auburn this season.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      Success

      Well no, Troy does not have a better “football program”. That’s just silly. They had a better year. And Mr.Ragers, I’m going to take a wild guess here and assume that Auburn grads do a bit better than Troy grads. And yes, AU has a damn good engineering and architecture program. And given the fact that I got into a few T-1 law schools, I think AU did pretty well by me. Best of luck with that Troy education.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      Beam and Cope

      Success, in your third sentence when you say “They,” are you referring to the entire populace of Troy having a better year than Auburn? Or something more specific? Maybe some type of athletic program had a better year, such as the football program…

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      War Damn USA

      ^Damn dude you got him bad. Props.

      Bottom Line: Troy is a Joke. Auburn is in the SEC with better academics greek life, athletics, three Heismen and two National Championships.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      alphaxi12

      DePaul = biggest catholic school in the country… Sexual education isn’t really a priority when catholics unrealistically decide abstinence is the only option for college students.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
      • 0
        totallyBrotally

        Yeah I know right…quite ironic actually considering DePaul references institutions in its resources that actually perform or outsource abortions…so they’ll give out those names and numbers, but not condoms. Brilliant. I love it here, but Jesus Christ (irony intended)…come on! (pun also intended)

        ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 5 months ago
  1. 0
    cleavage

    Half of these places are religious so they teach abstinence but this is America and we fuck a lot. The administration is better off teaching safety.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 0
    Fratnanimous

    BYU making this list as the overwhelming underdog is just one of those stories that warms your heart. Keep on, keepin’ on you crazy Mormons.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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