Meg Lanker-Simons, a feminist student at the University of Wyoming, is a proud fem-blogger and self described guerilla radio DJ up in Laramie, Wyoming. She fights for what is right, you guys! She’s a crusader for women everywhere! Full disclosure though, in this instance I’m using the term “crusader” because she reminds me of people who fought in the actual crusades, in that they thought they were fighting for something good and pure at its basic fundamental core but became so misguided and greedy that they ended up raping and pillaging the innocent and antagonizing their own supposedly good cause. Yeah, she’s a crusader like that.
Analogies aside, Meg Lanker-Simons is actually a liar, a hypocrite, and a pathetic piece of shit. The University of Wyoming, like most schools these days, has a “crush page” on Facebook. For those unfamiliar, the page is dedicated to students anonymously posting things about their crushes. Those messages range from cute and nice to sexually explicit to things so outrageous that they’re probably a joke, and if they’re not then I really regret not being in college anymore. These pages are pretty lame, but people like them, so whatever.
Several days ago Meg Lanker-Simons, it would seem at the time, became the “target” of one such message. It was not a nice message. In fact it was really mean. Threatening, even. Apparently someone, identifying as a REPUBLICAN(!!!!!!), didn’t like Lanker-Simons’ fearless, sassy, liberal mouth, even though her evil liberal agenda turned him on and made him all man horny and stuff. This evil Republican wanted to shut her brave truth hole, with sex, the rough kind that hard angry boners do to people. Grrrrrr! Sorry, that’s how I imagine Meg Lanker-Simons imagines the inner-monologue of conservative males.
Of course, we now know that the message was posted by Meg Lanker-Simons herself, in order to, I don’t know. Really, I don’t know. Why pass up a chance to demonize conservatives just for shits and gigs, I guess? Maybe she just wanted attention? Is it okay to slut shame if the person is an attention whore? If anyone reading this goes to the University of Wyoming, be sure to point and laugh at Meg Lanker-Simons the next time you see her on campus. It’s totally justified, she was already seeking negative attention anyway.
Here’s the original message:
Oh my gosh, guys! That’s HORRIBLE! Like, even if you disagree with Meg’s beliefs, you should be respectful! This is a DISGRACE! Oh wait, she wrote it herself, right, how could I forget. What a fucking loser. Does that post read to anyone else like she might be playing out a sexual fantasy of her own? Between the lying and when you take into account her own beliefs contrasted with the language/who the language is supposed to be coming from, this would almost certainly be dangerous and taboo to her, which are two pretty common turn ons. Oh God. (*gags*) That really might be the case. Excuse me while I go puke up my breakfast taco.
Either way, you can tell she is pretty far up her own ass when she can’t even write something that’s supposed to be threatening and insulting to her own self without mentioning that she’s actually attractive.
Hilarity immediately ensues when you see that the first person to respond to this HATEFUL post is none other than Lanker-Simons’ knight in tweeded blazer, her husband Andrew Simons.
Apparently she lied to her husband about this whole thing. Great marriage you have there, Meg. Nice to see that you’d shit on your husband’s trust in order to try and make a point or something. It’s not really clear what you were actually trying to accomplish, though, so let me rephrase that: It’s nice to see that you’d shit on your husband’s trust for no real reason. Truly, you are a great person. It’s plausible that the husband was in on it though, he seems like the type, that being the type whose wife owns his balls so completely that he’d be totally complicit in something as pointless and despicable as this, just because she told him to. Is anyone else surprised that he doesn’t hyphenate his name too?
After the message was posted, the outpouring of support for Lanker-Simons was apparently so great that she decided to double down and antagonize the UW Crushes Facebook page for allowing this hateful, threatening message to be posted. In case you forgot, she was the one who wrote and submitted this hateful, threatening message.
Here’s one of Meg Lanker-Simons’ responses to an apology the UW Crushes page offered up to its users.
“If something happens to me, you are personally responsible.” GUHHHHHH! Please wander out into the Wyoming countryside and get eaten by a pack of wolves you fem-troll. Seriously, FUCK YOU Meg Lanker-Simons, you shameless fucking liar. Someone call Rebecca Martinson and tell her to start warming up her right leg, some serious punting is in order here.
The whole debacle led to a UW Police investigation since the “threat” was directed at a student. Before the UW Police figured out Lanker-Simons had posted the message herself, however, a demonstration was held on campus, in protest of the hateful message. You know, the hateful message that Lanker-Simons wrote. She spoke at that demonstration, which is pictured above. Shameless.
After Lanker-Simons was discovered to be lying she was cited for interference, which is a misdemeanor, for giving false statements to the police. That crime is punishable by a $1,000 fine and up to a year in jail. Personally I hope they throw the book at her, if not figuratively then I at least hope that someone just throws a big fucking book at her face. It’ll be a symbolic lesson, “words hurt.” Also, pretty ironic that someone who wants justice is basically being cited for obstruction of justice after a misguided attempt to seek justice.
I always enjoy when feminists and oversensitive types say things like rush boobs “set women back [insert arbitrary amount of time].” That doesn’t, this kind of does though.
And oh by the way, super fem-blog Jezebel still hasn’t covered this story. For the life of me I can’t figure out why.