Carrying two tall boys to the counter in a store where the clerk knows you well, and him asking, “Taking it easy tonight?” TFM.
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Not knowing how to make any mixed drink that requires more than two ingredients. TFM.
Describing every competition you don’t win as “horse shit,” “rigged,” or “un-American.” TFM.
Getting the wrong lens prescription because you took the eye exam while intoxicated. TFM.