University Of Alabama GDI Writes Possibly The Most Hypocritical Anti-Greek Article Of All Time

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This is already long, and the title says it all, so let’s just dive right in, shall we?

Police you [sic] own – greeks shouldn’t be afraid to speak up

Last Monday, The Crimson White ran a letter to the editor, “Stop stereotyping the greek system’s view of race,” that felt very familiar to me. This is my ninth semester on this campus, and I swear that every semester there is a piece like the one to which the letter was responding, that complains about the current greek system’s racial biases.

Well, I’m sure it’s not always racial bias. There were probably some articles about how Greek Life encourages gender discrimination, or sexual assault, or how the pledge process endangers freshmen or how sorority rush is demeaning. There are lots of things school newspapers like to bitch about when it comes to Greek Life. The important point you’re making though, is that someone is always bitching about Greek Life.

And every semester, there is an outraged response from someone in that system, who claims that they have been unfairly accused.

And those responses are always so annoying. It’s like, “Hey, so what if a school wide publication called you and your group of friends racist, misogynistic, intellectually inept, sexual predators? GET OVER IT!”

I don’t often care about campus issues, but I will throw in my two cents here.

No really, you don’t have to. It’s fine.

I am a GDI

Really, please don’t.

but I have never had any real animus toward the greek system.

Hmmm, I feel suspicious of this qualifying statement. At the very least I feel like it’s incomplete. It should probably read like this:

“I am a GDI, but I have never had any real animus toward the greek system. That said, let me tell you why you guys are terrible people.”

See? That’s a more honest way to end that, considering that’s the direction this article is heading. So…what then? The author doesn’t have a problem with the system even though he personally considers it racist? So then he doesn’t have a problem with racism, right? Well, of course not, he has a big problem with it, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Read on, you captivated racists.

I think block seating is a highly inefficient system and find the implicit racial barriers disturbing, but those are systemic issues, not the fault of each individual.

No, block seating kicks ass. It works better for fraternities and sororities, freshmen dorms, and other student groups. Because you don’t want to be organized enough to make your football viewing experience more enjoyable doesn’t mean the people that do should suffer.

As far as the racial implications are concerned, it’s not like without block seating the crowd is going to turn into a happy racial cornucopia. People will still be trying to sit with people they know, so if you believe that fraternities and sororities are naturally segregated, and agree that fraternities and sororities will still try to sit with each other, then the crowd will still be segregated, just like 10% less so.

Also, when I watch a ‘Bama game on TV, the only color I can see in the crowd is crimson anyway.

I have friends in greek organizations, and have generally found greeks as individuals to be good people.

Stop with these qualifying statements that you’re about to shit all over! They don’t make you sound reasonable, they make you sound like a gutless, pandering backtracker.

The quality of the people I know in white greek organizations makes the continued de facto segregation of these groups even more bizarre.

There are no white Greek organizations, unless you count musical theater “fraternities.” There are historically black Greek organizations, but those allow members of all races as well.

By the way, you know what else is bizarre? The author wondering why there is a “de facto segregation” practiced by groups he incorrectly refers to as “white.” Doesn’t calling something unofficially racist help make it seem unofficially racist?

I know that “segregation” will come across as a harsh term for some of you.

Just incorrect, actually.

If you doubt my use of it, then I propose the following experiment: Pick one of your white friends in a greek house, go to a picture on their Facebook page from their last swap, and look for someone who isn’t white.

Oh shit, I accidentally just picked one of my black friends who’s in a Greek house instead. Does that not count in your worthless, arbitrary, and wildly unscientific experiment?

While I have been here long enough to know that it would be unfair to think of the majority of greeks as bigots

Even though I just claimed that they as a whole practice segregation and will go on complain that their inaction that I’ve perceived makes them responsible for bigotry…

the most vehement racist sentiments that I have heard during my time here have come from members of fraternities.

So naturally then we are, in fact, all racists.

For example, while attending the National Championship game this year, I expressed my displeasure with one of our players for a mental error. I believe that I unfairly called him an idiot. A drunken young man, who I did not know and whose specific fraternity affiliation I remember but will not reveal, responded, “That’s because he’s a nigger.” I cannot decide whether it is to my credit or my shame that my response was not harsh enough to cause my ejection. I will leave that to the reader.

What was the title of this guy’s editorial again? Way to not speak up, asshat. Congratulations, you’re a pious pussy. But by all means, please continue to render every point you make irrelevant.

What is clear is that his friends, if they disapproved, should have been vocal about their disapproval.

What is also clear is that you DID disapprove and WEREN’T vocal about your disapproval. I’d tell you to get off your high horse, but you just managed to fall off it yourself, and now your whole argument is Christopher Reeves’d.

That man’s opinions do not wind up associated with me, and I might have gotten into a fight. He might have listened to them, and they are associated with their friend’s opinions by their silence.

Considering that all of you were at a neutral site representing your school together, I would argue that you were equally associated with that guy’s opinions, whether or not you were silent. Oh by the way, in case you forgot, you were silent. In that case anyone would have assumed that that drunk guy’s racism was just as much a representation of your school and state as it was his fraternity, in fact probably more so your school and state, since he was probably wearing University of Alabama colors, but not fraternity letters.

God I wish a non-Alabama fan would have overheard all of that, just to know what this guy’s reaction would’ve been then.

___

Author: Ugh! What a dumb play! Idiot!

Drunk Guy: That’s because he’s a nigger.

(*Author conspicuously rolls his eyes and thinks to himself, Ugh, fraternities*)

Notre Dame Fan: That’s horrible! Honestly, how disgusting! So stereotypical of Alabama.

Author: No no no! You don’t understand! Right now he’s not representing Alabama, he’s just representing his fraternity, and Greeks in general. There’s a size limit on how big a group can be before one individual’s actions can no longer be held as a reflection of the group as a whole. I personally decide that limit, by the way. Alabama is too big, but U of A Greek life is still small enough to count. Get it?

Notre Dame Fan: You’re all idiots. Thank you for justifying my smugness.

___

That sentence was galling.

This entire article is galling.

It would certainly make me less likely to pledge, and I would imagine that nearly all young black men on this campus would be turned away by that. Anyone who cares about inclusion should be worried to be associated with this.

YOU’RE associating them with this! Meanwhile, Greek life was actively trying to disassociate itself from the racist stigma. A member of an Alabama house wrote a rebuttal to the original piece that called Greek life racist. Right now you’re the one perpetuating all of this. That is hilariously ironic too, since you’re doing so by rebutting a letter to the editor written by a member of Greek life that called for an end to stereotyping Greeks as racist, claiming instead that if Greeks want to lose that stigma, they should actively fight racism when they see it, and then telling a story in a letter to the editor that you wrote about how one time you saw racism and did not actively fight it!

HOLY FUCK YOU’RE A FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE!

I am aware that all fraternities and sororities are nominally open to members of all races,

Yet you incorrectly refer to them as “white.”

and that some are more serious about inclusion than others. That does not matter. De facto, there is not much diversity. All greek organizations should actually accept members of all races,

They do…

and they should be of such a character that members of all races feel comfortable enough to join. I do not know that we can write rules to make that happen, but we shouldn’t have to consider it.

Most of them are. There are going to be outliers with anything. It happens. The world is a shitty place sometimes. It’s still a mistake to take the mistakes of a few and pin them on the larger group as a whole.

I am certain that most students of any kind on this campus are not bigots. But if you want people to correctly surmise that you are not a bigot, then you should not be passive in the face of prejudice.

Excuse me while I walk away and laugh at the sweet irony of all that.

(*Walks away, laughs for ten minutes, pees a little, but not enough to be concerned*)

So, by this guy’s own logic, we can surmise that he is a bigot because he was by his own admission passive in the face of prejudice.

You sir, are a bigot and a racist. It’s official. At least according to you.

Concretely, you need to police your own. When considering members of a group with whom you are associated, particularly if you are wearing the same letters as identification, you should be concerned with their self-expression.

Remember that when he instructs you to police your own, he just means members of your own fraternity, not students at your school in general, because if that were the case this guy would have to do something other than jack off an irritated, self righteous column.

If your compatriots say something awful, you should let them know that you do not agree, at a minimum. If you do not speak up, then you seem to agree with them. It is important to impose social penalties on people who do or say terrible things. It is a pointless act to tell me that you are not a bigot. Go out and prove it.

Go out and prove it, just like him.

[via The Crimson White]

***


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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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