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UPDATE: Evergreen State College Protesters Are Now Exempt From Doing Homework

evergreen state college protests homework

We all know that feeling of passing a massive car wreck on the side of the road. You know if you look, you’re not going to like what you see. However, for whatever reason, you can’t help but look. Something about human nature just makes it tough to turn away from a grisly, depressing scene. That brings us to the slow-mo car wreck that is Evergreen State College.

Yesterday, we first wrote about the protests taking place at the small liberal arts college in the Pacific Northwest. Today, there’s a small but significant update: NO HOMEWORK!!!!

Protester: “All of us are students and have homework and projects and things due. Have you sent an email out to our faculty letting them know? What’s been done with that? We’re all here on our own time.”

Evergreen’s president George Bridges: “That is the first thing I’ll do,” replied Bridges. “I have not done it yet. I’ll do it right now.”

Protester: “So they need to be told that these assignments won’t be done on time. And we don’t need to be penalized for that.”

You’re getting a degree from a small liberal arts school in, I assume, race or gender studies, and it’s now widely publicized that the school doesn’t require you to do homework if you protest loud enough. Yep, that degree should take you straight to the top of a Fortune 500 company.

Just kidding! It’ll probably have equal or lesser value to a Trump University degree. Oh shit. Did I just cross party lines with that joke? I did. I like to keep things 100 around here. Keeps everyone on their toes.

See, college is just as much about maintaining a strict, positive schedule as it is about studying, so it’s best to get your homework and readings in before your daily protest at 3 p.m. No one knows how late into the night those protests are gonna go! It better not interfere with my 6 p.m. “So You Think You’re Triggered?” TedTalk, though.

I still can’t tell if I’m looking forward to seeing how this one plays out over the summer or not. After all, Titanic was both a tragic story and a box office hit. Sometimes you’ve got to sink the ship to get results, and it appears this ship is taking on water pretty damn fast.

[via YouTube]

Image via YouTube

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