Caroline Bano
I’m sure you’ve heard the news that Colton Underwood from the bachelor is gay. He made history being the first gay bachelor and by proving you can be gay and an asshole. I’d love to preface this blog by saying how much I love gay men. Most of my friends are gay men. One of my favorite comedians, Michelle Wolfe, has a joke where she says God made man, then overcorrected and made woman, so he made the perfect blend…. the gay man. They’re just right. However, Colton Underwood is one gay I hope to never see at bottomless brunch.
Now, I don’t watch the bachelor. However, I caught a few episodes from Colton’s season at a friend’s house. Colton was insufferable. I’m happy for him and celebrate this moment in his life. I’m proud of him for coming out. It’s monumental for anyone to come out. Let alone, the bachelor. Sexuality is fluid and it isn’t wild that an athletic, bachelor-type man is gay! Unfortunately, toxic masculinity kept him in the closet for so many years. However, we celebrate the courage to come out because it can put you in danger. For years, homosexuals have had to be concerned about physical violence. Yet, here is Colton being celebrated for his bravery, while he has threatened his ex-girlfriend, Cassie Rudolph, with physical violence. Unacceptable.
The woman and the gay man are such a great pair. We both hate toxic masculinity and have an appreciation for skincare. I believe a woman and gay men are drawn to each other because we feel safe with each other. This is why it’s hard to see Colton treat Cassie so horribly. Not only did he have to traumatize her by lying about his sexuality, but also by stalking her and threatening her?
Let me give you the low down.
Colton Underwood’s ex-girlfriend from the bachelor, Cassie Rudolph, literally has a restraining order against him. I watched a youtube video by David Neal about it. It’s honestly juicy content so go watch. What I gathered is that he made up a fake stalker. He set up a second number to text her and put tracking devices in her car. Not only that, he started to text himself from the fake number to pretend he was a victim too. That’s some Pretty Little Liars shit. On top of that, it got worse after they broke up. Cassie hired someone to track down her stalker only to find out it was Colton.
While we applaud him coming out, let’s not forget that Cassie is a victim of his. Most likely, she isn’t the only woman he has hurt. There are probably girls he’s dated or stalked in the past. I don’t think Cassie is the last person he will hurt either. Cassie used text messages from Colton in court as proof. He threatened her multiple times after they had broken up. Google these messages they are insane.
Now, I am sure you remember Colton jumping the fence. Cassie left the bachelor. Instead of respecting that decision, he jumped the fence to chase her. Some may say that’s romantic. It’s not. It’s manipulative. He is not the victim. If your boyfriend threatens you or stalks you, he is emotionally abusive. If he makes you feel guilty for living your life, he’s a master manipulator. He does not love you if he makes you feel scared. If you break up, and he shows up at your house, makes a fake number, makes fake accounts, stalks your new boyfriend, makes you feel unsafe in any way, that’s NOT normal. It is also NOT okay or acceptable by any standards. That person is mentally ill and needs help. That person is dangerous. If you think the man is “heartbroken” and we should feel sorry for him. No. That person is a narcissist. No one can manipulate you into dating them.
Women are not men’s property. Regardless of you’ve dated. Regardless if you love them. Colton Underwood has pretty privilege. He is so handsome and athletic. He is a suitable bachelor – physically. He is 6’5” and 250 pounds. People like him because he’s hot. We accept pretty people in the public eye’s shit behavior for some reason. But he’s a 6’5” man stalking a young woman. I am so sorry to Cassie. I am so sorry your abuser is now seen as a hero. His sexual preference has made him a hero even though he has hurt you. He has used his looks, sexual preference, and religious beliefs to manipulate others. I am sorry Cassie had to feel her life was in danger by someone she loved. Maybe in the future, we could judge people less by their sexual preference, fame, or looks and more by their character.
Maybe you think I am dramatic. But when someone tells you who they are, believe them. He threatened his girlfriend. She might have saved her life by taking action. I want to celebrate Colton, but I won’t celebrate someone who causes harm to others.
