Caroline Bano
We are in Nashville to make content for TFM. There have been some vlogs, TikToks, and podcasts. But, in honesty, we really are just drinking on company time. The first night, our boss wanted to take us to a little taco joint. Upon arrival, we discovered they didn’t have hard liquor. Instead of waiting for our boss and respectfully eating at the place he picked. Becca taught us how to bully our boss and we left to go to the most wonderful place on earth – Kid Rock’s bar.
Now if you’ve never been to Kid Rock’s bar, the atmosphere is someone yelling Sweet Home Alabama in your face to the sweet smells of alcohol poisoning. The perfect place for wholesome company team bonding. The first few hours were fine. After ordering food and playing never have I ever with our boss, we started to order buckets of beer. It was fun. Later in the evening, a client we are working with decided to join us. Super cool, successful, nice guy. “The Client” as we will call him, bought all of us tequila shots. This is where the night took a turn……
Two tequila shots in, the TFM boys couldn’t make eye contact. Wasn’t too worried because, to be honest, they’re boys. When do boys in their early 20s ever make eye contact with women? At one point, one of the boys fell asleep on the table. Another was bobbing like a Cal Ripkin bobblehead. Still a fun night. You’re a little messy at a work event? Who gives a shit you work for TFM.
Now our adorable, successful Client with amazing teeth started making fun of my clothes. As a thrift store queen, I am used to this. Until he told me he thought I was bisexual. Now I have been hit on by girls a few times in my life, but I was surprised that he thought I was bi. But now I’m wondering, do I come off bi? Ladies, what kinda vibes am I giving off? I’m not into women like that. I love women. We are the superior gender. But unfortunately, God made me straight. Truly my greatest weakness in life. I’d be a perfect specimen if I didn’t love boys, attention, and vodka sodas. Instead, I will live out the rest of my days as a basic bitch.
Now the bill came around, I had put down my credit card originally. But the waiter being an absolute gem didn’t run my card. He must of saw my thrifted clothes and knew….. broke bitch. Instead of running my card, he brought the receipt. Now, this receipt looked like a damn CVS receipt. This bitch could’ve been Santa’s naughty list. Trees were harmed in the making of our bar tab. Without a tip, we hit 729 dollars. Now our boss, being the boss he is, threw his card down. SICK. I love that my chicken tenders and 15 miller lights were taken care of. However, our boss doesn’t live in the states. Unfortunately, his card was declined due to being out of town. Now, Grace was about to throw down her card at this time. Sweet Grace is 22 and lives in NYC. AKA she’s broke. That’s when our Client with the good teeth paid for or tab. There is nothing more baller than paying the bar tab. My goal in life is to be successful enough to cover the tab no matter what…. also have teeth as white as his.
This blog has no point to it. Nashville is fun, but we haven’t eaten a real meal in days. I’m surviving off of chai tea lattes, green tea shots, and bud light. I heard Post Malone has the same diet. Basically, we got fucked up last night for free. TFM is the weirdest workplace of all time. Can my mom pick me up?
