Got up this morning and random was still drooling in my bed; I threw her clothes out the window, grabbed my clubs and headed to the links. God I love Sunday’s. TFM.
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Convincing your parents to spend thousands of dollars so you can drink in a mansion throughout college. TFM.
Loudly announcing, “He was masturbating,” any time EMS has to come to the house to treat an injured brother. TFM.
Being such a good bullshitter that you convince yourself you have feelings for her. TFM.
Loudly calling dibs on a girl on a campus tour that’s clearly walking next to her father. TFM.