Vanity Fair Wonders Why SAE Is At Center Of So Many Scandals, It’s Obviously Because They’re Trained To Be Evil

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In wake of one student’s claim that the Yale chapter of SAE told a group of women at the door of their party, “No, we’re looking for white girls,” Vanity Fair wonders what is going on with the national organization. No need to consider the fact that no other evidence exists or that the brothers haven’t been granted due process, let’s just regard the claim from a single witness as truth and prattle off all the other bad shit SAE’s done, because there’s no way these things aren’t completely unrelated.

But the allegations harkened back to trouble earlier this year at another S.A.E. chapter, when a video of members of the University of Oklahoma chapter of S.A.E. singing a racist song on a party bus went viral.

In May, S.A.E.’s Stanford chapter was kicked out of its on-campus house indefinitely and put on probation after a university investigation found three separate incidences of misconduct: one in which its members deterred a female student from reporting a possible Title IX concern, another in which members cyberbullied and intimidated another student because they thought the student had reported a Title IX concern about the fraternity, and then several alcohol-related violations, according to a Stanford press release.

A year earlier, the S.A.E. chapter at the University of Connecticut was handed down a five-year ban after it hosted a party at its house with a sorority at which female students were pressured to drink alcohol and told to get on the floor and pretend to “sizzle like bacon.”

In 2011, a 19-year-old sophomore student at Cornell died after he was kidnapped, bound with zip-ties and duct tape, and forced to drink as part of an S.A.E. hazing ritual. His blood-alcohol level was five times the legal limit.

Four separate instances from four separate chapters over the span of nearly half a decade? No coincidence here. Something’s got to be up.

But, what IS going on exactly?

The answer is simple, Vanity Fair. These men are TRAINED to be evil by the national organization. Yup. Most fraternities are so large and varied from chapter to chapter that the actions of one are in no way reflective of the actions of another. But not SAE. These guys are simply following the rules and regulations set forth by their superiors. It’s all in the bylines. See?

10.1… A brother shall do his best to adhere to the code of “The True Gentleman” by applying the values of kindness, gratitude, scholarship, and reverence to every aspect of his daily life.

10.2… A brother shall do everything in its power to encourage the female guests in attendance of a fraternity-sponsored social event to consume alcohol. Then tell that bitch to get on da floor and sizzle like a strip of bacon LOL.

10.3… BTW no black chicks.

In no way is Vanity Fair making a sweeping and unfair generalization by implying that every brother of SAE from California to Virginia is inherently violent, sexist, and racist. These values are ingrained into every member of SAE, regardless of the university’s geographic region or general culture, or who they were as people before coming to college.

But there is one aspect of the terrible organization that you would find agreeable, Vanity Fair: the rampant homophobia. I mean, you think Caitlyn Jenner is the greatest American hero of the year, and she went so far as to change her gender rather than challenge the sanctity of marriage between man and woman. Really, though. Caitlyn Jenner thinks marriage between two men or two women is a difficult concept to accept. Fucking CAITLYN JENNER thinks this. Seriously:


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