This may come as a shock to you, but I am not yet 21 years old. I think about that quickly approaching birthday milestone quite often. It’s the last big birthday of young adulthood, and a day you want to celebrate in a way that would have been great to remember. For me, the only thing that is undoubtedly going to happen on that day is the drunken relinquishment of my Grandex paycheck to a casino’s coffers. The wait is borderline maddening.
I asked my buddy, and former roommate, The DeVry Guy what he believed was the most exciting aspect of turning 21. Besides being legally allowed to have sex, he gave me a somewhat intriguing answer: He could finally see what’s behind the front page of breweries’ websites. Most 20-year-olds attempt to spend their 21st birthday in ways as opposite of DeVry as possible. Most also spend their special day doing the least unique activity possible, which is getting fucking obliterated.
A pre-med student at Virginia Commonwealth University put his medical school dreams in jeopardy this past weekend when he made the decision to steal an ambulance from the university’s medical center.
Lakeside Rescue personnel were inside the hospital finishing their patient’s report when they walked out to their surprise their ambulance was missing.
“At that point, it was partially surprise, and partially: this can’t be happening,” Inge said.
Now, I’m not someone to count anyone out. His dreams may very well become a reality. In fact, I hope he becomes our nation’s Surgeon General one day. It’s not like any American actually knows the Surgeon’s General’s name anyway. This man just loves hospitals, though. He’s perfect for the job. Anyone willing to put himself through the tribulations of a pre-med curriculum deserves his time behind the wheels of a mobile emergency room.
The most surprising aspect of this story is that the befuddled paramedics were able to coax the inebriated criminal into returning his stolen ride to the hospital, where Henrico police officers pulled him over. He stole an ambulance only to bring it back because they politely asked him to do so over a radio. What the hell, man? Grow a couple of testes.
Dispatch, to their surprise, got in touch with Kovacik on the ambulance’s two-way radio.
“The conversation was, ‘hey we know you have it, please bring it back or stop where you are’ and the person apparently responded,” said Inge.
The man is obviously not a professional criminal. His commitment was entirely too weak for the laws he was demolishing. A solid police chase could’ve turned this story into an absolute legend. Instead, he will forever be the idiot who threw away his dreams in order to join the long list of morons who are responsible for the theft of unoccupied ambulances..