Venmo Crashed After The Super Bowl Because So Many People Were Paying Up On Bets

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Nice Move


While we aren’t entirely sure this is the reason why Venmo crashed last night, there can’t be any other reason, can there be? Why else would a mobile payment app that’s used primarily to transfer money from person to person as a result of either gambling losses or drug acquisition start lagging right after the biggest betting game of the year?

I guess it could be from Panthers fans trying to drown their sorrows in a nice, ice-cold Xanax, but I imagine they’d be more inclined to go the crystal meth route, and everybody knows crystal meth dealers don’t know how to use Venmo. That’s just common knowledge.

This whole Venmo fiasco actually affects me, too. Remember that bet I made with Dan? Yeah, lost it. Lost the hell out of it. Didn’t even come close. It became apparent pretty early on that I was going to have to pay up, but that doesn’t ease the pain. Nothing can, and nothing ever will.

Because Venmo isn’t working, though, I’m going to wait to pay up. Don’t want to send him the money if there’s a chance it gets lost in cyberspace forever, right?

Nah, still not gonna send it.


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