Vest Weather Is The Best Weather

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Have you noticed something different in the air recently? You know, a certain crispness? It’s not cold yet, but depending on where you are, it may be getting a little more chilly. The leaves may even be changing. These are all, of course, indications that fall is upon us. But more importantly, this means that we’re all about to experience something incredibly pleasant and refreshing: vest weather.

What’s vest weather? Well, that’s simple. It’s when it’s too cold to just wear a shirt, but not cold enough for a jacket. It’s cool, it’s crisp, it’s bold, and it’s amazing. It brings with it some of the best activities of the year: hunting, football, and tailgating. It also means that pledgeship is in full swing. I’m telling you, it really is great.

Additionally, vest weather is just comfortable. You can moderately exert yourself without breaking a sweat. You can drink outside without risking dehydration. You can sit around a fire and drink beer after beer after beer without a care in the world. Trust me when I say this, it truly is a wonderful condition.

Of course, vest weather means, as its name indicates, that you can wear a vest, and frankly, you should. Vests are the shit. I have a Patagonia vest that I’ve been wearing for the better part of a decade, and it’s still one of my favorite things in my closet. They keep you warm and cool at the same time. It’s a scientific marvel.

Plus, since your arms are free and unencumbered, you can do a lot more. You can easily throw a football, cast a line, or toss a perfect cornhole shot. There’s a reason why a lot of mountain climbers and explorers wore vests back in the day. If they needed to fight a bear, sasquatch, or other wild animal, which probably happened on a day-to-day basis, they needed to be sure they’d have full range of motion for their arms.

Don’t just wear a vest for yourself, though. Vests drive the ladies wild. You can look that up. The classic jeans or khakis with a button down and a vest combo is a look that has been a favorite with the fairer sex for eons. They just can’t resist it.

Now that the weather is cooling off, you need to enjoy it. Watch some football, tailgate, or head out to the woods. If you want to remain flexible and adaptable to whatever situations come your way, do yourself a favor–wear a vest.

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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