…and teabag another.
It’s always safe to include the word “allegedly” before listing certain indiscretions committed by a party, but with clear video evidence, it’s not really necessary. So, some alumni of Phi Delta Theta at the University of Tennessee Chattanooga definitely shot bottle rockets up the pants of at least one active member of the fraternity, and they also definitely teabagged another.
In the video, sent to Channel 3 by an anonymous source, you can see one member shoot bottle rockets into the pants of another member who is too intoxicated to notice.
He brags on Facebook saying he pulled the prank four times without his fraternity brother waking up.
He then adds that he made him chug half a bottle of liquor so he would black out.
Another post shows one member performing a lewd act on another member who is also unconscious.
When I was a pledge my brothers and I always heard legends about alumni coming back to the house to run 48-hour haze-a-thons, just a weekend-long pledge torture session, really. Pure misery is what we were told to expect. Of course, they were just legends. Now sure, a few alums would pop in every now and then for a beer and some laughs, but they were grown ass adults and hazing was a thing of their pasts. Plus, they weren’t complete chotches.
Back to the assailants in this story — look here, guys. You’re alumni, right? You have a real job and real responsibilities now, right? You pay taxes now, man. You might even be wifed up or have to get home early in the morning to make sure the dog is fed and let outside so he doesn’t piss and shit in the house or whatever. So, why are you coming back to your former fraternity house to haze these 18 to 20-year-old kids? Then you’re gonna go off yapping about it on Facebook like a middle schooler? C’mon, man.
Imagine one of these losers chumming it up with a coworker in the office break room the following Monday.
“How was your weekend, Phil?”
“Oh, you know. Same ol’ same ol’. Got some yard work done finally. How about you?”
“Well, I shot a bottle rocket up this drunk kid’s ass and then my buddy totally teabagged another kid.”
It’s just time to move on.
UPDATE: It looks like they may have removed the video. Sorry, guys.
Image via Phi Delt Houses