If you’re a football fan of the Washington State Cougars (Jesus Christ), I have some welcome news for you: you can finally buy beer at home football games.
That’s right, Cougs. Martin Stadium will officially sell beer this season, which you will really want to consume if you actually care about Washington State football, because God help you, man. I know Mike Leach is the coach there, but the only other thing I know about Washington State is that it’s the home of Johnny Manziel’s father, Ryan Leaf. In fact, if you can name a single Washington State football player in the NFL without cheating, I’ll resign from Grandex today.
Washington State will expand alcohol sales in Martin Stadium this season, offering beer at the general concessions level at football home games, Cougfan.com has confirmed through multiple sources with knowledge of the process. Sales are expected to generate net revenue of $1 million this football season.
The catch is pretty predictable: The alcohol will be on sale in every section except for the student section — which , of course, will remain dry. Students, after all, can not consume alcohol lest they be 21 years of age. Any student who violates this Good Law is a criminal in the eyes of God, and He will have them spend eternity in Hell.
Martin Stadium will offer an extremely “meh” selection of beers, including Blue Moon, Blue Moon IPA, Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy, Leine IPL, and the shitty domestic stuff like Coors Light, Miller Lite, Redd’s, and Smith & Forge.
Washington State becomes the 39th school to serve alcohol at general concession stands, joining the ranks of Colorado, Ohio State, Texas, West Virginia, Maryland, Minnesota, SMU, and Pittsburgh.
If I am ever up late enough to catch a Washington State football game, I’ll crack open a cold Coors Light in your honor, Cougars fans. Congratulations on the new alcohol policy. I’m sure you’re all going to
enjoy need it..
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