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Watching This Model House Five Subway Footlongs Turns Me On And I Don’t Know Why

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I don’t know why the sight of a woman housing food with a purpose makes my pants feel so much tighter. Maybe it’s because I lost my virginity while my girl was downing a grilled cheese sandwich (she had blood sugar issues).

What I do know is that watching this chick pound five Subway footlongs in under 10 minutes gets daddy’s engine fired up. Nela Zisser, former Miss Earth New Zealand and current professional model, attempted the feat in the hopes of breaking a world record.

I know you’re thinking two things right now: 1) that song is fucking awesome, and 2) there’s no way she’s a model. Granted, she doesn’t have the softest of features, but she’s really tall. She’s probably a runway model. Runway models don’t have to be attractive in the face. In fact, it’s discouraged because it would take attention away from the dress.

Regardless, with this display of athleticism, Zisser won both the title of world record holder for consuming five Subway footlongs (9 minutes, 17 seconds) and the key to my heart.

On her YouTube page, you’ll find footage of Zisser eating all kinds of shit. Here she is throating a monster burrito:

Here she is demolishing a tower of mozzarella sticks:

Hot damn. Get this girl some napkins. While you’re at it, get me some, too.

Image via Youtube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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