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Why Every Girl Should Give Blow Jobs, From A Girl’s Perspective

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Recently, there has been some debate on the merits of cunnilingus. The boys at TFM first published “Why Guys Should Not Be Required To Go Down On Girls,” which TSM followed with “Why Girls Should Not Be Required To Give Blow Jobs.” Then, PGP rebutted with “Why Humans Should Never Have Sex With Each Other, Ever.” Why so stingy, people?

I’m here with an opposing view, and yes, this is from a girl, so there’s no mind trickery here. I believe every girl should give blow jobs. Yes, you heard that right. I believe every woman should give blow jobs, and here’s why.

  1. He’ll brag to his friends that he actually has the coolest girlfriend ever.
  2. If you think it’s a “requirement,” you’re doing it wrong. Going down is fun.
  3. Nothing will make him happier with less time or effort.
  4. Seriously though–that look on his face. Can’t beat it (pun intended).
  5. It doesn’t make him less of a man or her less of a woman to finish orally. Bringing a man to orgasm without even having to undress him is fucking powerful.
  6. Besides, even if you don’t finish that way, a little foreplay never hurt anyone.
  7. Can’t. Get. Pregnant.
  8. He’ll have such an adrenaline rush and feel like such a man that he’ll open those jars and change your oil happily. Oh, and he’ll probably “change your oil,” too, while he’s at it.
  9. You thought that reaction was good? See what happens when you bring him a sandwich after.
  10. Let him finish on your face and you’ll look years younger. Literally.
  11. Going to the gym later? No worries. Swallowing gives you all the health benefits of a protein shake. Besides, spitters are quitters.
  12. When he goes up, the toilet seat goes down.
  13. He’ll be much more likely to get down on one knee if he knows you’re willing to get down on two.
  14. There’s actually nothing degrading about getting him to worship at your feet.
  15. You reap what you sow.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not sure why you’re still reading this. Get to work, people.

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RecruitmentChairTSM

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move.

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