Why Women Should Stop Wearing Clothes Altogether

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Nice Move

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Our site has been under heavy fire as of late. Not just from the lesser mediums trying to drive clicks solely by using our brand recognition — you’re welcome for the page views, by the way — but from some household name publications like the New York Times, Slate, and USA Today. It’s nothing groundbreaking, just the same lazy rhetoric painting us as misogynistic pigs who objectify women on a daily basis for profit. They cry body shaming when we post columns like “Why Girls Should Stop Wearing High Waisted Bikinis” from anonymous pseudonym writers who don’t have to deal with the blowback, and guys like me — not hiding behind an alias — are all lumped under the same he-man women hating club umbrella.

I can’t lie, as the resident feminist on TFM, I don’t always agree with every piece of content posted on our homepage. Shocker that we’re actually individuals with varying beliefs, I know. And telling women what to wear, in my humble opinion, is just poor form — joke or not. In fact, I don’t believe women should adhere to the clothing and beauty standards set by this patriarchal society at all. If women really wanted to take a stand for feminism, they would return to their most natural form.

Women would stop wearing clothes altogether.

Think about it. At its core, high fashion and “attractive clothing” for women was created with the purpose of accentuating and subtlety sexualizing specific body types. This has historically been done, and still done, predominantly by men. Marc Jacobs, Alexander McQueen, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Karl Lagerfeld — the list goes on and on. Women’s fashion is a bigger sausagefest than a Georgia Tech Big Foot And Ghost Hunting Society’s Oktoberfest celebration. It’s time we put the kibosh on this boy’s club mentality, take off that pushup bra, and let the girls breathe.

Still not convinced? Fine. If every woman in the world bared all, slut shaming would be a thing of the past. No longer could women passive aggressively or blatantly comment on what another one is wearing. Our world would be devoid of hateful sentiments like:

“Did you see that dress Jessica was wearing?”

“Really letting them hang out there, huh? Stay classy.”

“Whore!”

Create an even playing field with every woman in her natural state and I’m positive we’d eliminate judgement and harassment from fellow females. They would never body shame anyone of the same gender. That’s strictly a male produced problem. Besides, don’t we — as feminists — preach imperfections to be unique and beautiful in their own way? That they should be celebrated, not hidden in fear of persecution? What better way to show confidence than to walk the righteous road in your birthday suit?

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Wouldn’t a fully naked planet of women only turn men into animalistic, lawless heathens that would see females strictly as pieces of meat, catcalling, ass slapping, creepily staring, and even assaulting every girl they cross paths with?” In the short term, it might. But, like anything else, with enough time, us men would become desensitized. The sheer sight of women fully exposed will no longer drive sexual thoughts and we as a civilization will be propelled light years forward with men no longer wasting precious moments thinking about what every attractive girl they lay their eyes on would look like in the nude. They already saw it, processed it, and moved on with their lives.

Think of all the technological advances we could make working together as a cohesive unit — men and women — rather than males having an agenda with the end-all goal being to take your clothes off. The possibilities are endless. So hop aboard the #ConfidentInMySkinMovement, unchain yourself from the patriarchy of women’s fashion, and bare all, ladies. It’s time you got a fair shake in this world, one free nip at a time.

Photoshop image based off Shutterstock picture

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