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An Angry Squad Of Wild Boars Went Ham And Killed 3 ISIS Members In Iraq

isis wild boars

Death by wild boar is a massive fear of mine. I’ve seen Game of Thrones; I know that after one of those vicious feral pigs tusks you straight in the abdomen, it goes bedrest, corruption, milk of the poppy, then straight to the grave. RIP Robert of the House Baratheon, first of his name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.

To make matters even more terrifying for swinophobes like myself, it looks like wild boar attacks aren’t specific to Westeros.

From Iraqi News:

Three Islamic State militants died late Sunday when wild boars attacked them in southern Kirkuk, a local source was quoted saying.

The animals went on a rampage near a farmland in al-Rashad region, an Islamic State pocket 53 kilometers south of Kirkuk. They attacked the militants and left three killed, according to the source.

You read that correctly: the boars went on a RAMPAGE. Whenever tusked animals band together to fuck shit up, shit gets fucked up. You ever seen a walrus leap 30 feet into the air then ground pound a 7-year-old boy like Mario would a Goomba? I have, and it’s even more scary than you could ever imagine. 30-foot blood and guts splash radius — no joke. It was so gross I nearly vomited up all the hallucinogens I’d taken right before it all went down.

When the going gets tusk, you better get going before you get fucking tusked. What a way to go out.

[via Iraqi News]

Image via Shutterstock

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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