Win A Free Spring Break Cruise With Tyga, Lil Dicky, The Chainsmokers, And The TFM Staff

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Nice Move


I’m sitting in the bullpen at Grandex trying to serve up some fresh, sizzling hot content to both entertain you slapdicks and remain gainfully employed so that I’m not forced onto the streets to live in a shanty town under I-35. Lately though, focusing on my job has been virtually impossible. After being informed that I, along with the rest of the TFM, TSM, and PGP writing staff will be working remotely for a few days in March (11-14) from the Inception At Sea cruise ship, it’s damn near impossible not to doze off into a dreamlike state. Visions of hybrid thong bikinis, an endless array of all-inclusive booze options, and hand after hand of blackjack dance around my head all day long.

My nirvana. My safe space. My three favorite things — Beautiful women, copious amounts of alcohol, and gambling — incorporated into one “business trip.” How the fuck am I supposed to concentrate on anything but that cruise right now? I mean look at this hype video.

This is going to be absurd with my boy from a “little silly old town called Cheltenham,” Lil Dicky, performing along with Tyga and the Chainsmokers on this ALL-INCLUSIVE, sex fueled, 2400 person rage voyage down to the Bahamas. Oh, and it’s 21 AND UP, so you don’t have to be concerned about any underage boners ruining the fun, or worry about your buddies questioning your morals and ethics after hooking up with some barely legal broad.

Do I have your curiosity yet? Now I’m about to get your attention.

You can be a part of all of this, on the house. Just fill out the info below before February 5th, and you and two friends will be entered to win a spot on this Spring Break trip of a lifetime. You will be responsible to get your ass down to Miami whichever way you please, but you’ll have your cabin, booze, and food all set. All you need to worry about are taxes and fees.

Even if you don’t win, you should still tag along. We’ll clean out the casino together, you can rip on Dorn and Bacon for being old AF, talk buttstuff with Jared, and meet the enigma that is Boosh.

If you’re not 21 by March 11, or the cruise doesn’t appeal to you for whatever reason but you’d still like to have an unforgettable spring break, hit up our other trips in South Padre or PCB. Just go HERE for more details.


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