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Woman Donates 29 Gallons Of Titty Milk, Is A Hero

Woman Donates 29 Gallons Of Titty Milk, Is A Hero

A pair of titties bears a lot of power. They have the ability to get out of a traffic ticket, acquire free drinks, and bring joy to the lives they touch. But the booby giveth and the booby taketh away. How many car accidents have been caused by a driver under the mind-controlling gaze of a set of nipples peeping through a jogger’s sports bra? Probably thousands. How many male faces have been stricken by angered wives and girlfriends when his attention is diverted to the hypnotizing jiggle of a young co-ed’s low cut tank top? Probably billions.

It is because of the mighty power of the teat that we must celebrate when it is used for a good cause. One woman in Wisconsin harnessed her areola abilities to give the greatest gift of all: life.

From ABC News:

Twenty-nine gallons of breast milk is a lot of time to spend on the pump.

But for Amy Bormann of Rhinelander, Wisconsin, it was well worth it to help babies in need.

The mom of two told ABC News she was breastfeeding her second child and at some point realized she had two deep freezers full of back up supply. Not wanting to stop breastfeeding her baby yet — then six months old — and also not wanting her milk to go to waste, she asked a local lactation consultant about donation.

Over the course of her “breastfeeding journey,” as she called it, she donated 3,702 ounces to The Milk Bank donation center at Aspirus Wausau Hospital in Wausau.

“I worked in a NICU,” Bormann said, “and know how important breast milk is for premature babies.”

Susan Lindekugel, a lactation consultant at the birthing center at Aspirus Wausau Hospital who does not know Bormann, agreed. “We’re always looking for milk,” she said. “It comes from all around the nation, the same way a blood bank works.”

Lindekugel said 29 gallons is a very large donation.

Twenty-nine gallons. Good lord that’s a lot of tit nectar. She must have been living the past month of her life as a human dairy cow, her utters drained 24/7 by pumps latched to her caring bosom. Props. Ladies, follow Bormann’s example and whip up a bottle of booby batter today. Think of the premature infant children. I’d help out if I could, but all three of my nipples are strictly cosmetic.

Remember, with great power, comes great responsibility.

[via ABC News]

Image via Shutterstock

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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