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Woman May Have Helped Inmate Escape Because He Has A Big Ol’ Dick

Woman May Have Helped Inmate Escape Because He Is Very Well-Endowed

A woman may have helped an inmate escape from prison because she can’t get enough of his massive, 100 percent all-beef thermometer.

Richard Matt and fellow fugitive David Sweat staged a “Shawshank Redemption”-style escape from a maximum-security prison in upstate New York. The duo used power tools to break through a brick wall and climb out onto a six-story catwalk. But how do two inmates get their hands on equipment capable of drilling through a prison wall?

Enter Joyce Mitchell, an industrial training supervisor at the prison who works with big tools for a living. A retired police detective suggested that Ms. Mitchell may have helped Matt escape because he is “very well endowed,” and that he “gets girlfriends everywhere he goes.” Matt worked in Mitchell’s workshop, where she likely caught a glimpse of his one-eyed monster and decided that it had to be freed.

From The Independent:

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said he believes the pair could not have staged the escape on their own.

“They wouldn’t have had the equipment on their own, that’s for sure.”

I disagree, governor. Apparently, this guy has all the equipment he needs.

[via The Independent]

Image via Shutterstock

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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