If you’ve been in the back seat of a squad car, asinine thoughts of stealing it might have crossed your mind. Sure, joyriding in a cop car sounds exciting in theory, but being handcuffed is just one of the many obstacles preventing you from committing such an ill-advised act. Roxanne Rimer, 27, said fuck it and drove away with her arresting officers’ car, even though her hands were tightly fastened behind her back.
After being detained on a shoplifting charge, Rimer climbed through the glass partition, put the car in gear, and hightailed it out of there for nine minutes, reaching at least 100 mph. She ended up vacating the car and running off into the woods before getting arrested. You can check out the highlights from the dash-cam video below.
Fuck that talentless hack Danica Patrick — someone needs to contact NASCAR and show those guys a real non-testicled talent. She drove 100 mph with what I can only assume were her legs and tits. Imagine what kind of damage she could do using her hands. Impressive raw talent right there.
There’s a lot to admire about her determination and persistence. At the start of the chase, she plowed through her own car and another police vehicle while nearly running over a cop. This is a woman who knows what she wants, and minor damage to her rear bumper is an inconsequential casualty. For you kinksters out there trying to bring handcuffs into the bedroom, Roxanne is your girl, hands down (behind her back). She’ll be able to operate just fine.
I didn’t, however, like her move to pull over and ask a bystander for help. While Rimer obviously doesn’t care about the legal ramifications of her actions, others may want to avoid aiding and abetting a person driving a police car who is a visibly half-arrested non-cop. Getting out of the car probably wasn’t the best move, either. It’s kind of a red flag to any passersby when you’re frantically running around the woods in handcuffs.
Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the red light — but you did, and it most definitely helped you escape the clutches of the law, at least temporarily..
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