Have you ever been to a party so sick that hot chicks just randomly take their tops off for no reason, booze flows like Niagara Falls, and law enforcement has to break up the fun because people need immediate medical attention from raging so hard? Yeah, me neither. Unless you count the time I drove my cousin Franklin to the doctor because he broke his hand punching through his fraternity’s drywall after a three rejected him. I guess not everyone looks good after 2 a.m. Sorry, Franklin.
Unlike my cousin, 20-year-old James Taylor had a much better experience this past weekend. Just to be clear, we’re talking about a Michigan kid who refuses to wear sleeves, not the famous singer and songwriter who gave us such hits as “Carolina In My Mind” and “Fire and Rain.” What started out as a joint birthday/going away party for a friend quickly escalated into arguably the biggest drunkfest in western Michigan’s history, with an estimated 2,000 guests, dueling DJs, strippers, and a fire thrower at Taylor’s farmhouse–or as a try-hard would have you believe, a random Tuesday night.
FROM Fox 17:
Taylor said that his home got so crowded that people couldn’t move from one room to the other, and the floor boards were shaking from all the extra weight.
Taylor said that his address was given out at about 4 p.m. on Saturday, which was just enough time for a heads up to people who wanted to attend but not enough time for word to get out to police.
‘I guess someone drove all day during the party day from Tampa all the way to here just to come to this party,” said Taylor.
I’m no cartographer or anything, but a quick Google search shows you that driving from Tampa to Michigan is at least a solid 16 hours. Was there no other party to go to in the seven other states one would have to drive through in order to get to Taylor’s place? This shows some serious dedication or a lack of friends–I’m not sure which one just yet.
Despite the fact that ambulances had to be called to assist six people who were ODing on drugs and that Taylor is sure to face possible charges in the upcoming days, the host claims it was worth it and that he isn’t ruling out any future parties.
“There’s always a coming home party,” said Taylor. “I feel like anybody that’s got a real problem with me partying out here in the middle of nowhere is a spaz.”
Don’t be a spaz. Vote James Taylor for social chair. And if you don’t want him, I know a solid guy in an arm cast with anger management issues who says he’ll break his other hand if you don’t pick him. Looks like I’m spending next weekend back in the ER. Thanks, Franklin.
[via Fox 17]