You Can Now Say and Show Pussy On Broadcast TV… Okay Not Really, Not Yet

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From Fox News:

The Supreme Court on Thursday ruled against the FCC’s policy regulating curse words and nudity on broadcast television.

Awwwww yeah! Time for topless 5:00 o’clock news and full penetration on The Bachelor. It’s a great day to be an American. FIRST AMENDMENT MOTHERFUCKERS! Now show me them titties like the forefathers intended.

In an 8-0 decision, the high court threw out fines and sanctions imposed by the Federal Communications Commission. The case involved some uncensored curse words and brief nudity on various networks, including Fox.

Oh wait, what? This was just about some fines and sanctions? You mean… you mean there isn’t going to be a graphic Ed O’Neil/Sofia Vergara sex scene on Modern Family any time soon? This is bullshit.

In reality even if the FCC came out tomorrow and told the broadcast networks to “have at it,” so to speak, not much would change. Broadcast TV is free so the broadcasters are all about keeping the advertisers happy. Johnson&Johnson probably isn’t going to run a commercial during a show that features its characters lubing up with Johnson&Johnson products to perform unspeakable acts. Although that would be great product placement.

“Johnson&Johnson No Tears Lube: You Might Cry a Little, But it Sure Won’t Be Our Fault.”

There is a little bit of hope though. According to Fox News the broadcasters are seeking more freedom.

But the challenge went beyond just the penalties for the use of fleeting expletives. The broadcasters wanted the court to free them from all regulation of content around the clock. The court’s 1978 Pacifica decision upheld the FCC’s reprimand of a New York radio station for airing a George Carlin monologue containing a 12-minute string of expletives in the middle of the afternoon.
The broadcasters argued that the revolution in technology that has brought the Internet, satellite television and cable makes even the old rules obsolete. The regulations only apply to broadcast channels.

My guess is that it’s not so much because they want to replace Carson Daly with late night porn (although they might as well), but more so because no limits mean no fines. So even though the broadcast networks would be operating under their own self imposed set of standards instead of the FCC’s, like the cable channels do, they wouldn’t get in trouble if a drunk celebrity whipped out his dick on stage at the American Music Awards and started telling the audience to go fuck itself. Makes sense.

But it would be pretty glorious if these indecency restrictions were already lifted. I’m almost positive we would have seen an episode of Community in which Alison Brie was topless throughout. One day… one day.

[via Fox News]

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