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You Don’t Get Laid As Much As This University Of Central Arkansas Student

I don’t even want to hear your stupid rebuttal. It’s cold hard fact that, regardless of how much you have sex, it’s less than half the amount of sex had by this University of Central Arkansas student/magician/warlock(?) who proved to the cops he was sober by showcasing his absurdly incredible juggling skills.

From WXPI:

A college student in Arkansas who was pulled over on suspicion of DUI proved his sobriety by juggling.

Turns out, the driver is a magician. His license plate even says “JUGGLER.”

Officers said they pulled over Blayk Puckett on Friday because he was driving slowly and had a broken taillight.

Police got a good laugh out of it, and one even recorded the act with Puckett’s cellphone.

The officers said they quickly realized that Puckett was sober, but he offered to juggle for them and they couldn’t resist.

I made up a rumor here that I think might be true: the officers were basing Puckett’s assumption of sobriety on the fact that they smelled no alcohol on his breath. In reality, he was hammered, but all the ass he’d eaten earlier that evening covered up the scent of the booze. I feel compelled to repeat that this is a rumor I just made up, but I also feel compelled to tell you that I cannot confirm it’s untrue.

Juggling, unicycle riding, Heelying, card tricks, doing flips on pogo sticks — all are things many people discredit as being NF and characteristic of virgins. In practice, though? They’re impressive as shit. Instant pantydroppers/puddlemakers/baby steroids. Go watch that video again and try to convince me you have more sex than Blayk. I’ll wait.

(insert your stupid rebuke here)

Screw you, liar. Blayk fucks.

h/t Barstool Sports

[via WXPI]

Image via YouTube

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

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