You Won’t Recognize Half Of The “Popular Internet Acronyms” In This Batshit Crazy List From CNN

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I don’t know what is going on here, and I don’t like it.

CNN, the former news outlet turned credentialed clickbait list-maker, has released the “28 internet acronyms parents should know.” Unless this generation of “teens” have turned into psycho-aggressive horny cretins, I don’t think this list is accurate–but I’ll let you be the judge.

If you have little brothers or sisters, be worried. This is apparently how they text now.

From CNN:

1. IWSN – I want sex now
2. GNOC – Get naked on camera
3. NIFOC – Naked in front of computer
4. PIR – Parent in room
5 CU46 – See you for sex
6. 53X – Sex
7. 9 – Parent watching
8. 99 – Parent gone
9. 1174′ – Party meeting place
10. THOT – That hoe over there
11. CID – Acid (the drug)
12. Broken – Hungover from alcohol
13. 420 – Marijuana
14. POS – Parent over shoulder
15. SUGARPIC – Suggestive or erotic photo
16. KOTL – Kiss on the lips
17. (L)MIRL – Let’s meet in real life
18. PRON – Porn
19. TDTM – Talk dirty to me
20. 8 – Oral sex
21. CD9 – Parents around/Code 9
22. IPN – I’m posting naked
23. LH6 – Let’s have sex
24. WTTP – Want to trade pictures?
25. DOC – Drug of choice
26. TWD – Texting while driving
27. GYPO – Get your pants off
28. KPC- Keeping parents clueless

“I want sex now”, “SUGARPIC”, “PRON”. There is just no way this list is real. If you mix up “8” and “9”, the meaning of the message transforms from “parent watching” to “oral sex.”

Internet trolls, yes you there, now is your time to shine. The author of this CNN post ended her piece with the following message:

Know any other Internet acronyms parents should learn about? Tell Kelly Wallace on Twitter or CNN Living on Facebook.

Time to send Kelly Wallace some absurd acronyms for her next piece “warning parents” about texting culture. Some potential examples:

ECRDN- Eating Cool Ranch Doritos Naked.
BRB- Butts, Real Butts
KTSIWT- Kiss The Screen, I Will Too.
01000101M- 69 Me
FMCLHS- Fuck My Curfew, Let’s Have Sex
Titty- Decoy for butt.
Butt- Decoy for titty.
LOL- Looking Over Lotsofporn
CCTBOB- Can’t Contain This Big Ole Boner
TSHWSHLYB- That Science Homework Was So Hard, Like You Baby
ISIS – I’m So Incredibly Sorry.
747OD- High On Drugs.

If just one of these makes her next column, I’ll mail my next paycheck to charity (not really, I need the money).

[via CNN]

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