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We love some good, old-fashioned hazing here at TFM, but everything has its limits. In the blink of an eye, a light-hearted (for the actives, at least) first lineup can get very, very real, and spiral into an entire semester of hellish sadism and fucked up one-upsmanship. Some of the TFM freelance writers and I brainstormed some signs that your fraternity might be hazing juuuuust a little too hard.
- A few of your JIs are diagnosed with PTSD.
- Your pledges’ farts no longer make any noise.
- At least one pledge gets social services called on his parents after some professors notice his bruises.
- A pledge breaks down during an icebreaker involving a blindfold in his Econ 101 discussion.
- You finish the semester with far fewer pledges than you started with, and not because any dropped or were blackballed.
- You discover detailed plans to kidnap and dismember the pledge master while conducting a cavity search of the pledge class president.
- Butter hot dogs are a featured item on your fraternity’s meal plan because it’s what all the brothers are used to.
- One of your pledges shits his pants.
- One of your pledges shits another pledge’s pants.
- There are knee-height butt-shaped indentations in your basement wall.
- The majority of your JIs can’t fall asleep at night without listening to “Crazy Frog” at full blast on repeat.
- A pledge voluntarily goes to jail.
- A pledge voluntarily enters himself into a medically-induced coma.
- The value of one of the pledges’ 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee was cut in half because he put 75,000 DD miles on it.
- Your university health center issues a PSA regarding elbow injuries.
- One of your pledges smokes his first-ever cigarette on bid night and develops lung cancer before initiation.
- Your JIs gut their dip spit because they’ve grown fond of the taste.
- You walk in on your pledges practicing their elephant walk ahead of the upcoming lineup.
- One of your JIs drops the fraternity to become an advocate for man-goat love..
To listen to TFM’s writers tell their worst (read: best) hazing stories, subscribe to The Inside TFM Podcast on iTunes.