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32 Signs You Went to School in the South

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Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 10.40.07 AM

Image via Natalie Kim Gameday

  1. You know at least a few people who have gone to Walmart to see the national championship trophy.
  2. You think liberals aren’t real people.
  3. Some of your friends have tried to make moonshine.
  4. They’re blind now.
  5. The NFL doesn’t really matter. It’s just a way to pass time until the next college game.
  6. During rivalry week, fans will sit on opposite sides of the aisle at church.
  7. You may have eaten something that you ran over.
  8. Sweet tea isn’t just a drink. It’s a way of life.
  9. You think people who drink unsweet tea are Communists.
  10. All of your food is fried.
  11. “Y’all” is a main staple of your vocabulary.
  12. You’ve learned the importance of “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am.”
  13. The real Mason-Dixon Line cuts off at Tennessee (sorry, Kentucky).
  14. Snow and ice are foreign concepts to you.
  15. You’re not really sure what hockey is.
  16. Your seasons are: Cool Summer, it’s going to rain every day and be muggy–is this hell?, and oh look, the trees are turning colors but it’s still hot.
  17. You get two other seasons, though, too: deer season and duck season.
  18. You start to sweat just by sitting outside.
  19. Your gun might be more important to you than your car.
  20. You’re probably a Braves fan.
  21. Even if you don’t go to an SEC school, everyone picks at least one to like.
  22. You get really serious about NASCAR.
  23. No matter where you are, you’re going to hear somebody yell, “Roll Tide.”
  24. You’ve got a Confederate flag hanging next to your American flag.
  25. You’re slightly serious when you say, “The South will rise again.”
  26. You know a lot of people who grew up on farms.
  27. You see at least one person in a hammock every day of the year.
  28. You wonder why people think Chacos are a good idea.
  29. You could go to the beach every week if you wanted to.
  30. The same thing goes for taking trips to New Orleans.
  31. April means it’s time for crawfish boils.
  32. Your football team lost 23 games in a row. (No? Just mine?)

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Is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move. Spends his spare time drinking Smirnoff Ices on the rocks, while listening to mixed CDs of Nickelback, Creed, and Lifehouse.

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