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33 Signs You Attend A Midwestern College

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1. Your school’s basketball team is better than its football team.

2. If you don’t go to THE Ohio State University, you hate THE Ohio State University.

3. And refuse to say the “THE.”

4. “The U” refers to the University of Minnesota, not the University of Miami.

5. When you hear “Miami,” you think Ohio, not Florida.

6. Corn. Everywhere.

7. Fall is your favorite season.

8. Because of yoga pants and leggings.

9. You know what a “coastie” is.

10. The local old people are actually nice to you.

11. You know that spring semester should be renamed “Nope, it’s still winter” semester.

12. You frequently experience the bliss that is Culver’s and/or Portillo’s.

13. You rarely experience the bliss that is Chick-fil-a.

14. You wouldn’t be caught dead walking around campus during winter without your Bean Boots or Timberlands on.

15. It’s a lot easier to find a bar than a grocery store.


16. A lot of your friends are from Chicago suburbs.

17. A lot of your friends are really annoying about Chicago sports.

18. A lot of your friends are from the Twin Cities suburbs.

19. A lot of your friends don’t care about Minnesota sports.

20. Lake days > all other days.

21. More corn.

22. Your campus is overrun with North Face parkas on the first cold day of every fall semester.

23. You actually care about the Rose Bowl.

24. You’ve been to at least one of the following: Little 500, Mifflin Street Block Party, Freakfest, Unofficial, Veishea.

25. You know PCB is the only way to spring break.

26. You know how many teams are actually in the Big Ten Conference.

27. “It’s 12, right?”

28. Maybe you don’t know how many teams are in the Big Ten Conference.

29. Your friends who don’t go to school in the Midwest always want to come visit you.

30. You’re all about Kwik Trip.

31. Burnett’s.

32. Your school’s marching band is almost as entertaining as its football team.

33. Maize.

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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